


May I Have Your Hand?

by Bounemr



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Comedy, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-05-27 10:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6281533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bounemr/pseuds/Bounemr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU where when you write on your skin it shows up on your soulmate as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tomcat

**Author's Note:**

> Still deciding whether to continue: leaving this as a chaptered fic in the meanwhile.

“Marinette, oh my god, they’re writing to you!” Alya all but tackled Marinette off of her chair and tugged on her arm, where slightly shaky, but neat, handwriting was appearing on her skin.

Marinette looked incredulously at it. She had a nasty habit of writing and drawing all over her body, and she knew that whoever her soulmate supposedly was would have the same markings appear, but she had never had any spontaneous ink on her skin before. _Until now. Wow, I honestly thought I didn’t have a soulmate._

“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you,” Alya read, “and I really do love your art, but do you think that you could try to not draw on yourself in the evenings? I’m a model and everyone is starting to get really frustrated with me.” She stared at the small block of text and blinked. “They’re a _model_ , Mari, oh my _god_!” While it was a wonderful and startling revelation, Marinette was much too busy being utterly mortified. “No, don’t give me that face! Give me that pen instead!”

Marinette just covered her face while Alya reached over her, splaying out across her dramatically. “Oh my god,” she said. “I’m so bad, they must hate me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, girl!” Alya finally backed off of her, looking triumphant with the simple blue pen in hand. “Write back!”

“No, I’ve already embarrassed myself, I’m just going to try not to draw on myself. Ever again. Oh my god.” She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head in them.

“Then I’ll do it. Give me your arm.”

“Alya!” 

“One of us is going to write back to them. This is the first time they’ve ever contacted you!”

“And I’ve already made everything terrible!”

“Calm down, girl,” Alya said authoritatively, tapping her foot and holding a hand out. “Give me your arm. You don’t even have to worry about it, I’ll set everything straight.”

 _Oh my god, she’s so totally going to make things worse._ Marinette reluctantly held her arm out, keeping her head firmly between her knees so she didn’t have to look at the embarrassment that would no doubt appear.

“There,” Alya said, “look. All I wrote was an apology. I’m not going to embarrass you in front of your soulmate.” She rolled her eyes, and then winked. “Yet at least. That’s for after you two find each other.”

Marinette risked a glance at her arm and noticed the neat scrawl appearing on its own first, before even reading what Alya had written. “I’m so sorry about that,” Alya had written, “I didn’t realize, I’ll try to restrain myself.”

“It’s okay,” Alya read the writing as it appeared after Marinette had registered what was happening. “Honestly I don’t mind at all. I kind of like it, actually, but my dad doesn’t want his only son to be covered in tattoos so he kind of made me ask you to stop. I’m sorry for bothering you, again, I know I don’t usually write to you.”

“‘Don’t usually’,” Alya scoffed, “Don’t ever.” She bent over to write on Marinette’s arm, despite her protests. “You’ve never written to me.”

“Sorry,” he wrote.

“That’s why I figured my drawings didn’t bother anyone. Most people know by the time they’re like six.”

“My dad kept me immaculate. Sorry.”

Marinette growled and finally succeeded in snatching the pen from Alya’s grasp. “Don’t worry about it. That was actually my friend. I just wish you’d let me known sooner that I was being a bother.”

The writing by then had moved up from Marinette’s forearm to her bicep, and the neat scrawl was beginning to get distorted as he, likely, had trouble writing at the angle he was. “You’re with a friend?”

“Yeah.”

“I see.” There were no marks for a long while. (And during the silence, Marinette fought Alya for rights of the pen. A fight that Alya eventually lost when Marinette’s soulmate started writing again.) “Hey there’s not a lot of space on an arm, is there?”

Marinette chuckled. “There is if you aren’t writing at random.”

“You would know. Anyway, do you think we could talk some other way? Phone, maybe?”

“Ooh, practical,” Alya noted. “And you know with the whole model and dad thing, he sounds kind of like Adrien.”

“Alya!” Marinette protested. “Don’t even joke, you know that’s not funny.”

“I’m serious. He said his soulmate wrote to him all the time, but didn’t he say it was usually drawings? Isn’t that what you do?”

“He has a soulmate, Alya. And he seemed excited about it! I don’t think he’d only just now be writing back if it was him.”

“You never know.” Alya shrugged. “Give him your number!”

“Okay, okay,” Marinette said. She sighed and jotted down her phone number really quickly.

Both girls stared at the exposed skin on Marinette’s arm for what felt like hours. Alya kept making small comments to herself, putting pieces together, making the puzzle point to Adrien. Marinette knew she was just giving in to confirmation bias, trying to make the situation align with Marinette’s hopeless crush on her classmate. Eventually, he wrote again. “What’s your name?”

Marinette risked a glance with Alya, who was encouraging her enthusiastically, and hesitantly wrote. “Marinette.”

The reply was immediate. “Dupain-Cheng?!” 

“Yes.” There was another long moment when no one wrote, so Marinette added, “What’s your name?”

The pause only extended further, so long that Marinette started turning her arm over to see if he had just moved to a different part (with no luck, he simply hadn’t replied). When her soulmate finally wrote back, it was the last name she expected to see. It was written hastily, but clearly, just under her question. “Chat Noir.”

The room was quiet as both girls tried to process that. _Chat Noir?! No, he must be… a fan. Yeah. He’s a fan of Chat, and he’s just playing a joke. I’m sure he’ll write soon, telling me his real name._

“Chat Noir?!” Alya shrieked. “Girl, your soulmate is _Chat Noir_?!”

“Of course not!” Marinette frowned at the words. “Obviously he’s just a fan. I’m sure he’s just having fun.”

“He must recognize you! You helped him with Evillustrator, remember?”

Marinette gulped hard and watched as more words appeared under his name. “Well, it’s good to talk to you again, purr-incess!” _Oh my god, it’s really him._ “Is your friend still there?”

“Yes.” Marinette felt her face burning as she wrote, stubbornly blocking out Alya’s excited squeals. _Why on Earth would he give me his superhero name?! He shouldn’t bring our jobs into this dumb soulmate thing! Now if he ever tells me his real name, I’ll know his identity! …Oh my god, I’ll know his identity. Oh no. And if we started dating then_ Alya _would know his identity! Goddamn it, Chat!_

“That’d be Alya, wouldn’t it?” he wrote, “The girl who runs the Ladyblog? I remember it being mentioned that she was your best friend.”

Alya squealed even more with giddiness. “Mari, he remembers you! He remembers me! Oh my god, this is the best thing!”

“We don’t know that he’s actually Chat.” Marinette reminded her.

“How else would he know all that?”

“He could be… I don’t know!” Marinette searched her mind for anyone, anyone at all, even Adrien, to fill in, but no one in her life except Chat Noir had called her “Princess”.

Pouting, Marinette wrote back. “Yes it’s Alya. Are you going to text me or not, I thought you were running out of space?”

“I found more.”

Alya wrested control of the pen from Marinette and wrote quickly as Marinette sighed. “Are you really Chat Noir?”

“I think it would be pretty dangerous to lie,” he said, “considering she is my soulmate. (ps. I can tell your handwriting is different, Alya ;3) Do you need me to prove it? I think I still have my princess’ home listed somewhere on my baton. I can’t write while I’m running over there though.”

“Oh my god, Mari he wants to come over!” As Alya shook with delight, Marinette once again managed to gain control of the pen.

“Absolutely not,” she wrote, “I’m not letting a strange boy in my house at eleven at night.”

After a long pause, Marinette found his reply skewed to the point of being nearly illegible, somewhere around her elbow. “Okay it actually took me like three minutes to even find that, let’s use our phones now, please.”

Her phone vibrated not a minute later with a message from a number her phone didn’t recognize.

CN – this is me, princess!  
CN – I totally understand, but we should meet up sometime at least. I know it probably sounds creepy, especially since I only told you my superhero name -.- but it really can’t be in public either. I don’t want people targeting you.  
M – Sure, but I’m not going to be alone.  
CN – whatever makes you comfurtable <3  
M – And know that I can kick your butt, so don’t get any ideas.  
CN – I am a cat of honor, princess, I would never.

Alya, of course, took a hold of Marinette’s phone, turning it to face her better. “Ask him to tell you who he is!”

“Alya, no!” Marinette exclaimed. “I can’t do that to him!”

CN – knowing that the lovely lady in charge of the ladyblog is there means you’re probably wondering my real identity.  
CN – if you even needed her prodding for that.

_This cat is psychic, I swear._

CN – well as you need to confirm my identity, I do yours as well! I like you, Marinette, but I can’t just tell people who I am. you understand. maybe after we meet in person, and I talk to Ladybug about it.

“Mari, he likes you!”

“He meant that platonically,” Marinette deadpanned, studying the phone. _Assuming he really is Chat… that means we’re destined, right? I always said that if it weren’t for my crush on Adrien I might consider giving him a chance. Still, would he even go for me? He likes Ladybug though._

M – Aren’t you like, in love with Ladybug though?

Alya stayed quiet, patting her shoulder in a movement of solidarity and, Marinette suspected, respect for asking the “tough questions”. Chat’s response took a few minutes to arrive.

CN – I suppose I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope it was my lady when I first wrote back to you. I’ve liked her for a long time now, so I can’t just say “hey, found my soulmate, thanks for the memories!”  
CN – this isn’t exactly unexpected though. not that I had any idea it was you, I just mean I knew the likelihood of it being her is pretty low.

“Oh this cat.” Alya sounded angry, but Marinette was mostly just berating herself. _Of course he’d rather have Ladybug. She’s amazing. If only I could be like her all the time._

CN – still I’m not disappointed! I’m glad it’s you.

Marinette felt like she was in a trance as she typed.

M – You are?  
CN – of course! how brave my princess is, and clever too. you’re great! and I already know I can trust you and count on you.  
CN – I want to be 100% honest with you, so yeah I am a little sad that it didn’t work out that Ladybug would be my soulmate, but I always knew it was a possibility. and as I said I really do like you. I look forward to seeing how this works out, if you want to try with me.

Marinette felt her breath hitch, and was all too aware of Alya’s presence over her shoulder.

M – “Try” is all I can promise, but yeah, I’d love to.

* * *

 

“My Lady!” Chat Noir’s voice sent Ladybug’s heart racing. _This is it, if he brings it up then it really is him._ “Ladybug, I have something important to talk to you about, if that’s okay.”

Ladybug examined her partner closely. “Why do you seem so nervous, Kitten? Did you do something?”

He flinched, making a face and rubbing his neck. “Y-yeah, I think I did.” Ladybug, of course, knew exactly what this was about, but she couldn’t let him know that, so she waited patiently for him to explain. “I… I found my soulmate.”

“That’s good!” Ladybug said. “You found someone.”

“Yeah but… I might have screwed myself over.” He bit his lip and trained his eyes on the floor. “When she told me her name, I, uh, well I know her already. She… I’m not _sure_ , but I think she doesn’t really like me. And so when she told me her name I kind of panicked.” Ladybug silently arched an eyebrow. “So when she asked me for my name I freaked out because I didn’t want to tell her it was me, because I don’t think she likes me, but she seemed to like Chat well enough and I didn’t know what else to say, so I accidentally said Chat Noir.”

Ladybug feigned surprise. “Chat!”

He grimaced again. “I know. It was really stupid and I’m sorry but I really don’t think I can get out of it.” 

_Even if he did make an excuse, there’s no getting out of it with me now that I know it really is Chat. At least if he does tell me I don’t have to pretend to not know when I’m Marinette._ Ladybug sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, terrified but hopeful, into Ladybug’s eyes. “Chat, that was really, really, really dumb. But since you’ve already backed yourself into this corner, I think you should go for it. You said you know this girl; can you trust her?”

“Absolutely!” Chat nodded. “Actually I’ve run into her a few times even in costume. She can definitely be trusted, and she can handle herself.”

“Then don’t worry about it. It was bound to happen eventually, right?”

Chat looked about ready to cry, but Ladybug knew it was from relief. He surged forward just a step, raising his arms, and hesitated. He dropped his arms awkwardly and settled for just talking. “Thank you so much.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes and stepped up to him, returning the hug he wanted to give before, after a shocked pause, his arms wrapped around her in a vice grip.

* * *

 

“Girl, I cannot believe you!”

For the umpteenth time that day, Marinette groaned. “Alya, you know why.”

“I can control myself!”

“No you can’t!” Marinette laughed. “Alya, you started interrogating him when we were writing on my arm. If I brought you we wouldn’t even have a chance to talk, it’d just turn into an interview for your blog.” Marinette tapped Alya on the nose teasingly with her finger. “I love you Alya, but I need back up, not an assault team.”

“Then who are you bringing?”

“Nino and Alix. I’ve already talked to them about it.”

Alya raised her eyebrows. “Why them?”

“Well Nino’s talked to both Ladybug and Chat Noir more than most, plus he’s really level-headed. And Alix is the only person I know who wouldn’t be afraid to punch a superhero in the face. Just in case that’s necessary. And they can both keep this quiet.”

“That’s…” Alya looked up, considering it, “fair. Okay girl, but I want all the details when you’re done!”

“Of course. He said he already talked to Ladybug about it, and that she trusts his judgement, but we’re arranging the meeting for a few days from now.”

“Or he’s just nervous,” Alya said, “Or he’s lying and is trying to avoid fessing up for as long as possible.”

Marinette hummed, entirely unsure of how to handle the situation. She had confirmation that it was Chat Noir, with him bringing it up on their last patrol. She trusted Chat, of course, and if they really were soulmates then the identities would have had to come out eventually. Even still, she wasn’t entirely comfortable having this meeting with him alone. Nino and Alix were the best options she had. “I’ll just give him the benefit of the doubt for now, I think.”

“Don’t let him off easy though, girl.”

“I won’t.” When Alya gave her a serious, doubtful stare, Marinette amended her statement. “Alix won’t.” _Ladybug won’t._

“That, I believe.”

“Alya,” Marinette said, “you know you can’t tell anyone that he’s Chat Noir, right?”

Alya looked downright offended, perhaps even more than when Marinette told her that she wasn’t going to be her back up for the meeting. “Of course I know that! I’m not going to out him! That would put both of you in danger, and there’s no way I’m doing that to him and especially not my best friend!”

“I’m just making sure. You, Alix and Nino are the only ones who know he’s Chat, so I need you to keep quiet.”

“Marinette, no one is going to say anything!” Alya rolled her eyes. “Though, when you start dating, I am definitely expecting interviews.”

“No one said anything about dating!” Marinette felt her face heat up. _Gosh, with Chat? I never even gave it serious thought. But he already loves Ladybug! And I like Adrien. It’s not fair to either of us to just try dating just because some dumb mystical “soulmate” marks tell us to._ “Not all soulmates are romantic anyway, remember?”

“I know, but you’re definitely going to date.”

“Alya!” 

She walked away, cackling. “Listen, girl, I’m going to prepare questions for my first exclusive interview, okay?”

“I can’t promise you that, Alya,” Marinette repeated, but her best friend had already left. Finally, she turned her attention to her phone, where a message from Chat Noir awaited her.

CN – so, you were saying furiday? that’s one of my free evenings. I’m good any time after school ends unless of course an akuma attacks  
M – In my school at around 5 then. Ms. Mendeleiev always leaves early so her classroom should be empty. And locked, but that’s not a problem, is it? Room 109. Alix and Nino (Timebreaker and Bubbler) will be there as well. Assuming you really are Chat Noir, no one else will know.  
CN – ooh, distrustful of me, princess?  
M – Maybe I’m just more willing to trust my eyes than some words from someone claiming to be a superhero.  
CN – even if those words come from your soulmate?  
M – Especially. Mystic shenanigans make not a stable friendship, Tomcat.  
CN – “Tomcat” I like it. makes me sound like a manly kitty >:3  
M – Don’t let it get to your head.  
M – I’m just testing to find something Ladybug doesn’t use.  
CN – well I like it. and my lady doesn’t use it so you can if that’s all you’re worried about <3  
CN – and come Friday I’ll convince you I’m worthy of an adorable nickname  
M – Chat  
CN – hm?  
M – I have something to say, as well as a question. I’m not sure if it’d be better to ask in person, but I really need to know.  
CN – whatever you need, marinette. ask away  
M – Well first of all, I just want you to know that I do believe you. That you’re Chat Noir.

Marinette waited a few moments to see if he’d respond, but after a minute or two of silence, she quickly typed out her question.

M – What I wanted to ask you though, was… what do you want from this, Chat? This whole soulmate thing. What are you hoping to get out of it?

A few minutes of held breath later, and her phone vibrated.

CN – I told you before I want to be 100% honest so… I really don’t know what I want from this. I didn’t think about it.  
CN – I’ve always felt sort of attached to my soulmate, to you, but I guess that’s just what being a soulmate means  
CN – I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to feel, but at this point I think I’d be up for trying whatever. if you wanted to try the romance thing then we could do that. if you want to be just friends I’d be honored to be counted among my princess’ friends  
M – You like Ladybug though.  
CN – I do, but I’m choosing you  
M – Because of some writing on your skin.  
CN – because you’re worth choosing  
M – You really believe that?  
CN – of course. there’s a reason you’re a princess  
M – You hardly know me.  
CN – I’m a good judge of character

Marinette scoffed. _Says the guy who thought Chloe was Ladybug._

CN – and anyway, it’s not like I really know LB in the way you’re meaning either. that hasn’t stopped me  
M – What do you mean by that?  
CN – well, you know, casual stuff. I know what LB is like in a crisis, I know my lady when she’s making a plan and when she’s flying over the rooftops, but I don’t really know things friends are supposed to know about each other  
CN – her birthday? her favorite food, color? what does she want to do with her life when she’s not ladybug? I have no idea. it’s the same thing with you, really  
CN – I know how brave and clever you are, how you can stay calm in the face of an akuma, and I love that just like I do in my lady. Even though I might not know your birthday or favorite things or your dream, that doesn’t mean I don’t know things about you to like  
CN – that’s all I meant  
CN – and actually I do know you want to be a fashion designer so that’s one up isn’t it? ;3

Marinette swallowed hard on the lump in her throat. _This dumb kitty cat._ Was all she could manage to think. _God, and I can’t even convince myself that he’s lying. That’s just such a… such a Chat thing to do._

CN – was that too sappy? I’m sorry if that was too much I just wanted to be honest  
CN – golly that made it worse didn’t it you know what I’ll just leave you alone  
CN – see you friday

 _And that’s not. Is he nervous?_ Marinette almost laughed. In a lot of ways, she appreciated the thought. Many soulmates just came together and got together. It worked out for them often, sometimes it didn’t, but many people don’t really put thought into it. It’s not something _to_ be nervous about. It’s pretty much literally whatever magical power presiding over their world telling them that they’re meant for each other, so why would they worry about it? That Chat Noir was nervous about it meant he wasn’t presuming anything with her, which Marinette appreciated especially because she hadn’t yet decided exactly what she wanted to do. _And okay, if I’m being honest, it’s a little cute, coming from him._

M – Don’t worry about it; thanks for being honest. I do have to go though. I’ll see you later.

* * *

 

CN – hey princess guess what

Marinette sighed as Alya looked over at her phone. Alya normally wouldn’t lean over her shoulder to read her conversations, but this was her soulmate _and_ Chat Noir, so Marinette decided to cut her some slack. It wasn’t as if they’d say anything incriminating anyway, Chat didn’t know she was Ladybug, and Alya would find out Chat’s identity soon regardless. 

M – What is it, Tomcat?  
CN – ‘,:3 new emoticon  
M – I hope there is never a situation in which you have to use that unironically.  
CN – oh do you? ‘,:3  
M – Okay I set myself up for that, that’s fair.  
CN – hehe you totally did >;3c  
CN – by the way  
CN – I spy with my little eye, a beautiful princess and her lovely bff who is not being subtle about reading our conversation ;3  
CN – I know I’m a bit early but I was excited. I’ll stay hidden though don’t worry

“Girl, how did you get a soulmate this adorable?” Alya asked while very obviously looking around.

CN – you won’t find me, alya ~ I am a cat, a master of stealth  
CN – also you have no idea where to look

“Oh, he’s done it now. Sorry, Mari.” Alya snatched Marinette’s phone out of her hand and wrote her own message.

M – enjoy it while it lasts mr noir bc the moment u try something w my bff you will not be able to avoid me  
M – I’ll keep ur lil identity a secret but don’t think for a moment I wont use it to find you and jdhifhsijnk

Marinette fought Alya for the phone, leaving the rest of her message a mess of jumbled letters. Chat Noir, for his part, took it in stride. Probably because he could apparently see them.

CN – mr noir am I part of some kind of tv crime drama now or something?  
M – Face it, your life is basically a television crime drama.  
CN – I mean you’re not wrong  
CN – still I think I’d describe it more as superhero meets magical girl  
M – I guess you are literally a magical girl.  
CN – isn’t it great?  
M – Dork.  
M – Anyway so what are you just sitting on the roof waiting or something? We can’t meet until a lot of the crowd has left you know.  
CN – I know! and as a matter of fact I am not on the roof. I’m nearby. in disguise B3

Alya reached for the phone again, and Marinette just rolled her eyes and conceded.

M – lemme guess ur not transformed and probably go here so we wouldn’t notice a strange boy here if we looked am I right  
CN – ooh, first try. I’m glad you’re on my side

Alya rolled her eyes and tossed Marinette the phone. “Yeah he’s not clever. I know exactly who he is.”

Marinette arched an eyebrow at her friend. “Really? Who is he then?”

“Please, I’m honestly disappointed that you haven’t figured it out by now. Even with just what he’s told you over text, you of all people should be able to tell.”

“What… does that mean?”

“It means you’re helpless, I’ve already told you, and he’ll tell you soon enough anyway so just don’t worry your pretty head over it.”

Marinette frowned, but since her meeting with Chat was scheduled to happen any second, she let it go.

“Girl, there’s Nino and Alix, get going. Tell your boyfriend it’s time.” Alya pointed to the two friends in question, who were chatting by the large entranceway of the school.

Marinette stood and sighed, checking her phone.

M – Think it’s clear enough?  
CN – if you’re sneaky going back in, yes maam  
M – Do not call me ma’am ever you’re like the same age as me  
CN – you’re a princess though  
M – And I already put up with that.  
CN – fine. *yes princess  
CN – better?

Marinette rolled her eyes and shoved her phone into her bag as she made her way to Alix and Nino.

“Hey, Mari,” Alix said, “we ready to do this?”

“Yeah, let’s go. And thank you both again.”

Nino clapped her on the shoulder. “Anything for my friend, dude.” Meanwhile Alix just waved her off nonchalantly, muttering about “soulmate shenanigans”.

Together, the three of them carefully made their way through the courtyard. The ventured together through mostly empty hallways and, luckily, there was no one in sight outside Ms. Mendeleiev’s classroom. Marinette tried the door first, finding it, as expected, locked.

Feeling a hand on her shoulder, she saw Alix pulling something small out of her pocket. “I got this, keep watch.” Together, Marinette and Nino patrolled the hallway while Alix picked the lock (why she knew how to do that, Marinette wasn’t sure if she wanted to ask) and it wasn’t long before the three of them slipped inside the classroom. After making sure no one saw them, Nino and Alix took positions on either side of the classroom, guarding both doors and doubling their back-up duty with lookout duty. 

With her two friends on either side of the classroom, Marinette stood with her back against the wall, facing the windows that Chat Noir appeared outside of just a few minutes later. After Marinette opened one of the windows for him, he climbed inside, greeting her enthusiastically before even landing his feet on the tile. “Princess! It’s been a while.”

“It has. Last time we saw each other you were… saving me from The Gamer?”

“Hmm,” he hummed, “must have been.”

Marinette stared into his eyes for what seemed like a long while, taking in the familiar green and trying to sort out how it made her feel. _He’s Chat Noir, my partner._ She had to avert her eyes from the striking green that always stood out so much. They even, sometimes, literally shone in the dark, if the light was right. Like little flashlights searching into her for something, and she didn’t know what he was looking for so she didn’t know whether to hide it or help him find it. _What do I want “partner” to mean though? I still like Adrien, even if I did like Chat that way, it wouldn’t be fair, right?_

_But if he’s willing to give me a chance, isn’t it fair if I give him one? Do I want to give him one? He said he’d choose me, even though he still likes Ladybug. Can I do the same thing?_

“Oh my god,” Alix said loudly, interrupting her thoughts. Chat jumped just as she did at the voice, and they both turned to the girl at the door. “No wonder you brought me here, you’re both hopeless. Just talk already.”

Marinette gulped and looked back at Chat, meeting his piercing gaze. “I…” he said, “don’t know what to say.” As his ears drooped and his eyes turned away from her, Marinette couldn’t do much but share the sentiment.

“Talk about your feelings,” Alix suggested, “your next step. Your situation is a bit more complicated than normal.”

Marinette and Chat looked at each other again for another minute before both blurting out simultaneously, “So I’ve been thinking-”

“And…”

“Uh…”

Marinette was sure Alix was hitting her head on the wall from the soft thumping coming from her direction, but she refused to remove her eyes from the tile at her feet. Chat Noir cleared his throat. “Uh, ladies first?”

“Okay,” she said, “okay, so I was thinking, am thinking, really, and I think it would be smart for us to just… be friends. Maybe later, after we know each other better, then we can think about doing the romance thing.”

Chat’s eyebrows knit together and his lips curled down just slightly. One of his ears twitched but they both stayed firmly flattened backwards. “I see.”

Marinette paused. _Oh no, he’s upset isn’t he? What does the ears back thing mean again? After all this time I still don’t look up cat body language, gosh._ “Uh, what did you want to say?”

“I was thinking,” he said hesitantly, “that since we’ve confirmed that we’re us, you know, maybe we could… I don’t know… hang out sometime on your balcony or something before I show you my identity.”

She blinked, taken off guard. “Sure, I guess.” She frowned. _He goes to school here too, so he shouldn’t keep me up too late, so it shouldn’t be a problem, right? But…_ “Why?”

“I…” He made an awkward sort of grimace as he spoke, one that made Marinette feel badly for him. “Well, you know I go to school here and… I act pretty differently when I’m Chat and I’m not sure how telling you who I am will change this because you act differently around me too and I just… I want us to be friends first before identity shenanigans mess with things, okay?”

Marinette smiled. _Oh I know exactly what you mean, Kitten._ She had, after all, been planning on keeping being Ladybug a secret for a while, it was only fair. “That’s perfectly fine. Text me when you want to meet, okay?”

His ears perked up again, and his expression softened. “Yeah! I will.”

With a glance to Alix and Nino, both of whom seemed more bemused than anything else, Marinette decided to end their awkward conversation while it was almost bearable. “We should clear out before someone comes by and sees us.”

“Right. I’ll see you later then.”

“Later, Tomcat. Lock the door behind us.”


	2. Princess

Adrien could not believe, well, anything. He couldn’t believe that Ladybug was so… nonchalant about him accidentally revealing his identity, or at least his very imminent reveal. He couldn’t believe that he was dumb enough to write “Chat Noir” without thinking when Marinette asked for his name. _And oh my god I cannot believe that_ Marinette _is my soulmate!_

Adrien buried his head into the thick blankets on his bed, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. He had a lot of time, sure, but still none of it made any sense. _Marinette, though?_ He thought, half distressed. He didn’t have anything against Marinette, of course, in fact he really wanted to be her friend, but… _Of course the girl who’s my soulmate is the one who hates me._

He felt bad, for both himself and her. It wasn’t fair that she couldn’t have a soulmate that she actually liked and wanted to talk to. Instead she got him and he got her and he didn’t want to trick her but keeping up the image of Chat instead of revealing his identity was the only thing he could think of to at least try to convince her that he wasn’t as… whatever she thought he was. Snobbish, arrogant, he didn’t really know, he tried not to act that way. He was sure that if he could just have a do-over, have their introduction again, one that wasn’t ruined by circumstance and misunderstanding, then he could show her that he wasn’t that bad.

He hoped, anyway.

_But using Chat to trick her into being my friend? Isn’t that exactly the kind of thing I should be avoiding? But do I have much of a choice? Will she ever even talk to me if I don’t?  
_

_Man, she can hold a grudge though. Or have I really been acting like a jerk all this time?_

“Augh!” He let out a short exclaim into the bed to soften his voice. “I don’t want to think about this anymore.” Rolling onto his back, Adrien examined the ceiling. “Plagg, what do I do?”

“You go on your dates with the girl is what you do,” Plagg said casually, drifting lazily around the room. “And you stop thinking about it.”

“I _can’t_ stop thinking about it,” Adrien whined, ignoring the way Plagg rolled his eyes. 

Adrien could just imagine Marinette’s expression when he finally told her the truth. She was already so angry with him on a normal day. All he really needed to do was show up for her face to turn red and for her to stop having a full grasp of vocabulary. And he knew that she tried so hard, at Alya’s insistence, if her pushing them together was any indication, to be nice to him and he tried to be as nice as he could in return but nothing seemed to work to make her calm down, or forgive him, or… whatever was the problem.

And of course he didn’t like doing that to Marinette, but he kept showing up because Nino and Alya are both still his friends and he won’t get anywhere with Marinette by avoiding her, not that he seemed to be getting anywhere anyway. It was almost desperate at that point, and not even because of the newly discovered soulmate thing, he just really wanted her to be okay around him again. If she couldn’t forgive him or be his friend, then he at least wanted to get it to the point that they could be in the same room without her looking like she wanted to explode.

Her reactions were so extreme sometimes that he feared she’d be vulnerable to being akumatized, but either she was really lucky or near perennial rage didn’t check off on Hawk Moth’s exploitable emotions list. _Maybe he needs a spike, and she’s just so constantly pissed at me that he can’t take advantage of it. It’s just the usual now._

If the thought didn’t hurt him so much, Adrien might have laughed. Because even though he didn’t dare call her his friend, even if he wanted to, he really did respect Marinette a lot. Even before discovering she was his soulmate, he admired her for a lot of reasons. Her amazing ability to hold a grudge did, admittedly, border on awesome for him (though that wasn’t exactly a positive thing), but she was not only a talented designer, something he was able to appreciate especially given his upbringing, she was passionate, brave, clever… well, there’s not many people who could both face an akuma nearly alone and also successfully get their possessed item away from them. Sure, Nathanaël had a crush on her, but the average citizen wouldn’t have been able to pull that off. If she had hesitated at all, she wouldn’t have gotten that pen from him.

Not to mention that she did it knowing that Ladybug wouldn’t be showing up. He hadn’t met a citizen before who trusted him so completely that they didn’t even need the reassurance that Ladybug would be there. It almost made him dare to hope that she _liked_ him as much as Ladybug, but that was ridiculous. Ladybug was the real hero. He was her partner, there where she needed him. She was in the spotlight; he was up on the catwalk turning the light so no one would miss her performance.

And that was fine with him. Still, the thought that someone, Marinette of all people, liked and respected him on the same level (or even more?) as Ladybug was a little wild to him.

_Why is it that you treat me so different on either side of the mask, Mari? Do you just really respect Chat? Do you just really hate Adrien? It’s still me, what makes it so different? It can’t be that Chat’s a hero, you’re just fine with everyone else but me._

A soft vibration cut him out of his thoughts. Digging through his blankets for his phone (actually, his backup phone, which he wasn’t strictly supposed to be using unless something happened to his main one, but which he took out on account of Alya knowing his phone number) he checked to see Marinette’s new message.

M – I’m making hot chocolate, if you think it’s as good a night as any to show up on my balcony. ;)

The first time he went to her balcony was actually just the night after they talked in the school. Things had been predictably awkward, but they somehow managed to fall into light banter and they left on a jovial, if not amiable note.

With a sigh, Adrien considered his chances. _Well, every moment with her is a step. Forward or back, at least we’re going somewhere._ He stood to stretch exaggeratedly. _Plus she has a treat for me!_

CN – I’ll be over momentarily, princess <3

* * *

 

Carefully, as always, Chat Noir slipped out of his house, ensuring there was no one around to see him, and made his way just as carefully to Marinette’s little bakery nearby. When the coast was clear, he dropped down onto the balcony, taking in his surroundings quickly. Marinette wasn’t outside. Picking his way across to the trapdoor leading to her room, Chat Noir crouched down next to it, examining it curiously before reaching out and softly rapping on it with his knuckles.

A few moments later, a gentle click was released into the night and Marinette pushed the door open, smiling at him as she rose out of the hatch. She moved with practiced grace to a small table and placed her single mug down on it before turning back to the open door. “Stay, Tomcat. I’ll get your cup.”

Not knowing what else to do, Chat plopped down on one of the chairs near the table and sat, staring at the thin trail of steam coming out of the mug waiting there.

A minute passed in silence with Chat just feeling the crisp air against him. He closed his eyes and tried to not think too hard about the situation. Not long after, though, warmth drifted up, making his nose twitch, and he could smell the chocolate from the cup that Marinette held out to him. He cracked one eye open, taking in her pleasant smile, and accepted the mug from her. He watched her take the seat opposite him and waited until she took a sip from her own mug before drinking from his.

“Are you okay, Chat?” Marinette asked.

Chat felt his own heartbeat against his rubs when he met her eyes. Because her eyes were all concern and kindness and everything except what he was used to as Adrien. _No, it’s everything I’m used to minus something overpowering and distracting._ Despite his thoughts, Chat Noir grinned widely. “How could I be anything but purrfect when my princess invites me over?”

His answer didn’t seem to satisfy Marinette, but she didn’t press him. Instead, after a few minutes of hot chocolate and silence, not quite awkward but definitely not comfortable, Marinette shattered the quiet of the night with a statement. “August fourth.”

Chat blinked at her. “What?”

“My birthday.” Marinette smirked at him teasingly as she clarified. “August fourth.”

Chat took a moment to process that. _Because of those texts last week?_ He gulped, unsure how to respond since he knew Marinette knew Adrien’s birthday already. After a few seconds, the only thing he could think to do was plaster a sly grin on his face and point out the obvious. “You’re a Leo.”

Marinette actually leaned over the table and smacked his arm. “Don’t even start, Tomcat.”

He laughed at her. “That’s so great. You’re a kitty yourself! No wonder we’re meant for each other.” Only after the words left his mouth did Chat realize what he said. He almost cringed. Being meant for each other had a much different meaning when you were soulmates, after all, and he just intended a harmless flirt.

Luckily, Marinette either didn’t notice or didn’t acknowledge it. “That’s not why I told you, you dumb cat!” Pouting, she took another sip of her drink and pulled her knees to her chest. “I didn’t even think about that. Of course that’s what you’d notice.”

Chat closed his eyes, opting for another hit from the warm chocolate to slide down his throat and drive its warmth through his veins rather than watching her reaction. “Why did you tell me then?”

“Because that’s what this is about, isn’t it? We’re supposed to be getting to know each other.”

Chat felt a rumbling chuckle in his chest. “Well from one kitty to another, I think we’re not doing too well there just yet.”

“Then ask me something. Anything. And I have to answer honestly. Then I’ll ask you something.” She flashed him a look. “I’ll try to avoid identity stuff for now, but you can still just tell me if it’d be too obvious.”

Chat swirled the hot chocolate in his mug a little, watching as it spiraled. “Okay. Who asks first?”

“You. Ask whatever you want.”

Trying to think of a question, Chat played with his mug some more, took a few sips, and finally set it down, turning his attention totally to Marinette. He wanted to ask her whether she even really liked him, and why. Especially after finding out about the soulmate thing, her behavior seemed just a little bit… incongruous. Or maybe it was just because of the soulmate thing. They worked well together before. _I will ask, later. Maybe. But that’s too heavy to start this off with._ “What’s your favorite color?”

“Pink. Yours?”

“Blue.”

“We’re so cliché.”

Chat Noir let out a real laugh at that, allowing it to distract him. “Okay then, any hobbies?”

“Baking, drawing, designing, you know, stuff you’d expect.” Marinette sighed softly. “I play video games a lot. I’m a master at Mecha Strike.” Chat knew that, of course, but raised an inquisitive eyebrow nonetheless. “What about you?”

“Are you just going to keep using my questions?”

Marinette smirked again at him, “They’re pretty standard questions. Important for us friends to know.”

Chat huffed, but answered. “I like music. I play the piano when I can. Play video games too. I like to read, even write a little if I have time. I guess I just like words, honestly.” He grabbed his cup again and took another drink. “Foreign languages, books, writing, I like all that.” He tapped his fingers on the table, debating for a moment before adding on another hobby. “Fencing too.”

Marinette hummed. “Interesting. I know some people in a fencing group. You fight like one, sometimes. You know more than just French?”

“Hey, princess, it’s my turn.”

“No, you asked if I’d keep using your questions.”

Chat made a show of crossing his arms and pouting, giving her his most adorable kitten eyes, but she was unfazed. He finally just gave up and relented. “Yeah. I’m… relatively fluent in English, less so in German. I’ve picked up little bits of Spanish, and I’ve been learning Chinese for a while now.”

“Hmm, I don’t know how to speak Chinese.”

Chat shrugged. “Most people don’t. It’s pretty different from French.”

“That’s true.” The silence that fell between them was significantly less awkward from before, if only because they could pass it off as both of them just taking a drink simultaneously. “Your turn.”

“Opinion on Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

Marinette gave him a very unimpressed look. “Are you just taking advantage of my promise to tell the truth to ask that while I can’t sass you for it?”

“That’s exactly what I’m doing, Princess.” He smirked at her, watching as she sighed.

“Fine. I think they’re pretty great, as we all do. They keep us safe, you know? And we all owe them for that.” 

Chat frowned just a little bit when she paused. Her answer just seemed so… generic. It was almost infuriating. So he tried to press her further. “And?”

“And I think Chat Noir doesn’t get as much credit as he deserves.” Chat nearly choked on his hot chocolate, and when he looked at her, she kept her gaze firmly on the horizon off to the side. “Ladybug’s capable and strong, yeah, but she wouldn’t be half of what she is without Chat.” Setting down his mug silently, Chat watched her, momentarily unsure if she was even really talking to him anymore or just to herself. “He’s strong and dependable too, he just got the political short straw by not being able to cleanse the akuma himself. And that’s the only reason people keep calling him a sidekick.”

Chat almost flinched at the way she said the word “sidekick”. She spat it out like it was something distasteful, like it wasn’t even really worth the time to think about and it was an injustice that the word had to be spoken at all. “And Ladybug keeps telling everyone but they don’t listen. Chat is her partner. Equal, and always there when she needs him.”

“You’re… passionate about this,” Chat said. “Kitty to kitty, you’re not just trying to flatter me, are you?” 

He offered her a sly, joking smirk but her serious expression told him there wasn’t room for that in this particular phrase of the conversation. “I said I had to answer honestly, didn’t I?”

“You did. I just…” Chat Noir examined his mug, nearly empty now. “Sorry. Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank,” she mumbled, “it’s just the truth.”

 _So I was right? She really does like Chat Noir. As much as Ladybug. “Equal”, she said. That’s so strange hearing from anyone but My Lady._ “Really, thank you.” He repeated it because it really did mean a lot to him. Even if Marinette didn’t like Adrien, and even if he couldn’t figure out why the schism between Chat and Adrien was so deep in her mind, it was really amazing to be told that he’s worth being a hero. That he didn’t just screw everything up.

“Why do you think you need to thank me for that?” Chat gulped and looked away. She liked him, he didn’t really want to tell her about all his insecurities. He didn’t want her to think less of him. “That was my question, by the way.”

 _It’s fine. She asked, she’s not going to judge you or anything. Marinette isn’t like that… right? Is she just judging Adrien because I’m Chloe’s friend and I’m rich? She doesn’t seem like that kind of person though, and Alya doesn’t seem the type to put up with that kind of person, honestly. Well, you agreed to this game, it’s do or die. Advance or abscond, you dumb cat._ “Sometimes I think I’m not much of a help to her at all.” He answered truthfully, following the rules of their game to the letter. “I mean, with the amount of times I’ve been trapped or controlled by the akuma, I’m against her as much as I am with her, and when I’m with her half the time I’m just bumbling along.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Copycat chained me, Dark Cupid, Puppeteer, _and_ Princess Fragrance made me fight her, _you_ got closer to taking down the Evillustrator than I did, two seconds into the fight with Pharaoh and I’m trapped in a coffin, Digital got me in his picture frames, do I really need to go on?”

Marinette sighed, meeting his hard gaze for a few moments. “I don’t think you should measure your help to only the fights.”

“What else is there?”

Marinette looked down in her mug, and downed the last of its contents before replying. “Obviously I’m just an observer, but I can’t imagine being a hero is very easy for either of you.” Chat begrudgingly agreed with her. “Does you ever feel like if it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be able to handle being Chat Noir? Like if Ladybug weren’t there at your side the stress or the responsibility or whatever would just be too much for one person?”

“Sometimes.”

“It’s probably the same for her.” She didn’t meet his eyes, and Chat didn’t question why she would have thought about this kind of thing, nor how she was so spot on about it. “Even if you aren’t the best in a fight, which isn’t true by the way, don’t think I don’t remember you taking on an army of knights against Darkblade, or a large squad of cops against Rogercop.” _She really pays that close attention to me?_ “But even if you weren’t, if you weren’t there by her side, I don’t think it would even be a question of how capable she is. I don’t think there’d even be a Ladybug.”

Chat Noir felt like Marinette had just handed him a knife and turned around so he could stab her in the back with it. And what’s worse, without saying anything more, he felt like he _did_. It was nice, naturally, to know he had a fan, but hearing how much Marinette loved and respected him just made him feel like when he revealed himself he’d only let her down. Knowing that the hero she admired was just the boy she hated would be like the final twist of the knife and Chat Noir couldn’t even think about doing that to her. _But I don’t have any options._

Chat downed the last of his own drink and curled up slightly in his chair, only remembering not to make it too obvious after he started. After a long period of silence, Marinette reminded him of their game. “It’s your turn.”

“Huh? Oh. Um… well if you don’t mind answering, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, you know that I like Ladybug. Is there anyone you have a crush on?”

For Chat Noir, it was just idle curiosity. He was open to the possibility of romance with Marinette, but she made it clear that they were friends first. After thinking about it, Chat agreed that it was probably for the best anyway. Better to let down a friend than a significant other, he hoped. Still, he had a crush on Ladybug, if Marinette had a crush on someone else… maybe their soulmate thing really was one of those platonic ones. _Maybe I can be her wingman,_ he thought, hiding a snicker. 

Marinette looked at him curiously. “Yeah, I have a crush on someone.”

After she failed to elaborate, Chat pried just a little further, testing how far she’d allow him to push. “Kitty to kitty? It’s a sacred bond between cats, you know. I’d never tell anyone your secrets.”

“I know, but it’s none of your business, Chat.” Though her words were stern, her expression was soft, showing that she didn’t mean any disrespect by it. She just didn’t want to say. _That’s fine then, I can’t force her._ “Are you really that different when you’re Chat than when you’re not transformed?”

“No- I mean, yeah, I guess.” Chat shrugged. “I don’t really think about it, usually, but yeah. I mean I’m still me, it’s like how you’d act different when you’re talking to Alya or your teacher. Does that make sense? It’s like when I’m Chat, the world is my best friend, so I can be a dork and be annoying and it’s okay, but when I’m not I have to reign it in.” He examined her slightly concerned expression and chuckled. “It’s not a bad thing, don’t worry. Actually I think it’s probably a good thing. I’m a still a huge nerd, I still love puns, it’s not that different. It’s just that I try to act with a certain amount of… poise. I’m quieter.”

“When you talk about _you_ being quiet, all I can think of is you sneaking up on some poor mouse and getting ready to pounce.”

Chat laughed. “Not a mouse, no.” He reached over to tap her gently on the nose and winked at her. “Another kitty, maybe.” 

Marinette huffed and crossed her arms, but her white teeth shone behind her grin. She stood, taking both of the mugs by their handles in one hand. When she was near him to collect his mug, she kept talking. “Well, if you try to pounce on me I may be forced to defend myself.” As she turned, smirking, she lightly flicked his bell, sending a shiver down his spine. “And, kitty to kitty, you’re not the only one with claws.”

Against his better judgement, and his free will, he felt his face begin to heat up. _Oh no…_ Her teasing smirk and meaningful, half-lidded gaze seemed to hang in his vision, all framed by the glittering Parisian lights making the scene way more romantic than either of them really intended or wanted. _And she called herself a kitty too, oh my god I’m going to die._ Again, against his free will and better judgement, he couldn’t fight off the image of Marinette wearing cute little cat ears and maybe a bell just like his and _oh my god, stop, stop, stop!_

In the midst of his gawking, Marinette paused, turning back to look over her shoulder at him. He did his best to put on his poker face. _She cannot, under any circumstances, know what you were just thinking, man. In fact, you can’t either. Never think it again._ “Hey Chat? I was just going to take these down and come back but… it’s actually getting pretty late. And we have school tomorrow so maybe we should wrap it up for tonight.”

“Ah, of course, Princess!” Chat stood a respectable distance from her, giving her an exaggerated bow. “I eagerly await our next meeting. I miss you already.”

“You’re the one who will know when you see me at school.”

“It’s not the same though.”

Marinette chuckled and ruffled his hair before continuing on her way towards the hatch to her room. “I’ll see you later, Tomcat. Until next time.”

“Yeah,” he murmured, watching her descend into her room, “next time.”

* * *

 

The next morning, Adrien had one thought in his head and one thought only. 

_What was that?!_

It was actually pretty funny, he realized halfway through class, that he was so busy trying to figure out why he was left a blushing mess on Marinette’s balcony, and continuing to very pointedly _not_ imagine her in a cat outfit ( _Or worse, a Chat Noir outfit… oh god, stop thinking about it! What is wrong with you?_ ), that he barely even noticed the very girl’s presence just behind him. _I should just blame the “kitty to kitty” thing. It’s probably why I’m so hung up on the cat outfit too._ Adrien supported his head on his hand, watching the teacher but not really absorbing any of the information. _Yeah, that’s it. I’ll just… never let her know that it got to me. Ever._

 _Why did it get to me though? We’re just friends. I don’t think it’d get to me if Alya did something like that. Maybe Ladybug. Okay, if Ladybug did that I’d actually be dead right now, but that’s not the point. Has Marinette ever flirted with me before? I don’t think so. Did that count as flirting? Hmm, felt like it. Why would she flirt though? We agreed to just be friends._ Adrien sighed and drummed his fingers quietly on the desk. _I guess technically we don’t have to be more than friends to flirt, and I’m not exactly innocent either there, but I don’t remember Marinette being the flirty type. Not with me, Adrien, obviously, but I mean with anyone. Does that mean she only does it with Chat? If that’s true, what does it_ mean _? Why is everything so complicated?_

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and then opened his eyes again so the teacher would think he was still paying attention. Really though, his focus was behind him. He tried to clear his head, getting rid of all the confusion temporarily, and focused on the sound behind him, close enough for his sensitive ears to pick up with only the standard “good hearing” instead of the transformed super hearing that being Chat Noir gave him. 

_Tap, scratch, scritch, tap, tap, scritch._ The pencil on paper made strange music in Adrien’s ears. He could hear how she dotted her “I”s with a little more force than she’d normally put into the paper, how she’d alternate between quick curves and careful lines all while maintaining a certain rhythm. Marinette’s rhythm. _Do most people write with a rhythm? I think so, probably._ He actually didn’t like it much. It was quick, almost rushed, like she was late or busy and Adrien hoped that it was just because the teacher wasn’t exactly pausing for them to take their notes. Idly, he wondered if Ladybug’s writing tempo would be at all similar to her fighting tempo. _She was always pretty fast-paced too. I’ve always been a bit slower, in that sense._ Ladybug always flitted around and flew away while Adrien just trod along on steady paws. The two tempos worked together, melded together well, like Chat and Ladybug did, but her quick staccato, both Marinette’s and Ladybug’s, reminded him just a little of his busy life and schedule. 

He didn’t know about Ladybug, but Marinette at least he knew didn’t have that kind of thing weighing over her all the time. She was just that kind of person, and that thought made Adrien infinitely more comfortable with the quick beats. _Would it be nerdy or sappy to compare us to harmonics? Both, probably. Though Marinette_ is _my soulmate, maybe it’s warranted. Oh but that means I’m the first harmonic, and my Princess always comes first, right?_ He smiled. _And it doesn’t work if she’s the first harmonic, that’s the one with the smallest frequency, and my tempo is slower. Darn, this metaphor is terrible. Let’s just stop being a nerd for a moment and get back on topic._

_Which was… oh yeah, how royally screwed I am. Maybe I’m going about it wrong? Maybe I should be trying to get her to at least tolerate me as Adrien instead of flirting with her as Chat. Or in addition to. That works just as well.  
_

_But it’s not like I haven’t been trying to get her more comfortable with me since, like, the beginning of school! I’m not sure I even have any more tools at my disposal other than going full Chat Noir, and that would probably either scare or irritate her. Maybe I can talk to Alya about it? Alya would know how to get closer to Marinette, right? Or at least she’d know exactly what Mari’s problem with me is, so I have something more specific to work on other than “Rage Matching That of Achilles Himself”._

He risked a glance at the girls behind him. Marinette was studiously scribbling in her notebook but Alya was just resting her head on her hand. She met his gaze and raised one eyebrow, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips all the while. It wasn’t quite as innocent or even curious as he had expected. Instead she looked downright sly, like she had the benefit of being the audience when some hardcore dramatic irony plagued the entire scenario. But he preferred to think Alya was just imagining her latest post on the Ladyblog or something and that was why she seemed so pleased with herself.

Flicking his gaze back to Marinette, he whined internally. _Rage not, Mari, I’ll be your Patroclus. Hehe, I wonder if she’d even get it if I used that reference on her someday. But no, I probably shouldn’t make a joke about Marinette being pissed at me, that might only make things worse. Still, what I did to be her Agamemnon I have no idea. It’s not like I stole a pretty girl from her or anything._ He turned back forward sharply, shocked and terrified at the thoughts crossing his mind. _Or heck, maybe I did. I don’t even know who has a crush on me anymore. I hope that’s not what happened, that would be awful. She did say she had a crush on someone, right? Gosh… And that would explain why she has a problem with Adrien in particular, even though I’m the same person as Chat. Oh my god, how could I even begin to resolve that? I hope that’s not what it is._ Adrien glanced nervously at the clock. _Hopefully Alya can tell me. But when can I talk to her alone?_

When he looked at Nino’s notes, his page covered in messy writing and his pencil still working furiously, and back at his own notebook, a sad, empty page with nothing more than a header, Adrien sighed and slumped in his chair. _Whatever, I have Alya’s number, I can just text her. It’s not like we’re on a time trial. Mari’s hated me for a long time now, putting off action for a few more days won’t make much of a difference._

_In the meantime, I guess I’ll keep ruminating on my stupid metaphors. The Patroclus to her Achilles? Really?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you asked for a part 2 did you expect crippling insecurity and Adrien being almost as big of a nerd as I am? Well that’s what you got folks, and now you’ve started this, so I’m going to finish it. My way. That means this ain’t your fluffy soulmate au anymore, cupcake. We’re dealing with real, human issues like grown adults. (Don’t worry it’s still not angst though. And it's still fluffy. I'm being dramatic, just ignore me.)


	3. Patroclus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never written a proper Alya pov before. It was kind of fun. Makes me want to do that more serious fic I was thinking about that would let me go into it a bit more.

Alya was just about ready to scream watching Adrien and Marinette’s hopeless, oblivious, desperate dance around each other. Like, even more than usual. Alya loved them, Marinette and Adrien both, she did. But if there was one thing about them that was just _infuriating_ it was how they both had the audacity to look at each other like _that_ and _not notice_.

 _I mean at least before it didn’t look like Adrien was hopelessly in love with her,_ Alya thought, _now it’s just ridiculous. Ugh, but I am not going to be the one to tell Mari that he’s Chat Noir until he’s ready to. God knows why he’s waiting in the first place, but he deserves the chance to do it when he’s ready. I only told her back then because it wasn’t confirmed and he was acting all for telling her anyway. But if that’s any indication, I could probably tell her anyway and she just wouldn’t believe me. The length these two go to to keep each other at arm’s length, it’s disgusting._

Alya did not take notes in class that day. Partly because she didn’t feel like it, partly because Marinette was actually paying attention, so she could just copy her notes like Marinette had done hers so many times, and partly because watching Adrien instead was just so entertaining. Being at a diagonal from him gave her the lucky break of being able to see at least part of his face, and she spent a good amount of the class period just trying to hold in her laughter as he made faces at his paper (on which Alya had noticed he had taken about as many notes as she had).

For a while, he was just frowning, knitting his eyebrows together and staring intently at the desk, but he’d intersperse little displays of other emotion as he thought. Like how his cheeks would get just a little bit pink before he’d close his eyes and shake his head quickly, and how he’d raise the eyebrow Alya could actually see just slightly and tilt his head like a half nod.

Alya really wanted to know exactly what was going through his head but, as it turned out, she got a pretty good hint about halfway through class when he leaned back and sighed, clearly still not paying much attention to the teacher. He made the same face he had been for a while, squinting just barely at the desk with his brow furrowed and lips tight together, but then, almost in a blink, he relaxed, letting a soft smile grace his lips as he seemed to consider something else. He tilted his head and turned it slightly, but didn’t seem to notice as he continued in his own thoughts. The smile fell as quickly as it came and then, a few moments later, he turned to look at her.

That in itself was nothing suspicious. Alya gave him a smile, knowing full well that it wasn’t a comforting one as he paused and bit his lip. It was when he looked at Marinette, however, that Alya wanted to melt, punch him in the face, and slam her head into her desk all at once.

Because the moment his eyes landed on her he just dissolved into the sweetest, most hopeless smile Alya had ever seen. His eyes lit up like the sun over a wide, beautiful field of wildflowers, He looked at her like she was the only thing in the world and it actually made Alya want to punch something because Marinette was too busy taking notes to look up and see her crush being _so obvious_ about his adoration for her. He was almost as obviously and helplessly in love as Marinette was and Alya would have liked nothing more in that moment than to call him out on it but she knew that wouldn’t help either of them. _That’s strange, though, I thought they agreed to just be friends. Is that just because Chat’s a hero and isn’t telling his identity yet or was it just an executive decision on Mari’s part because she felt guilty or something since she likes him. I swear to god if the “just friends” thing wasn’t mutual on_ his _side I’m going to murder them both this is ridiculous._

When Adrien suddenly looked shocked, his expression morphing to worry and nerves, Alya knew something was up. _Either this is new, and he just realized Marinette is literally the light of his life, or he just realized something else. If it’s something else, that might not be a good reaction._ Judging by the red on Adrien’s cheeks, Alya wanted to say it was the first option, but she wasn’t quite convinced. Adrien had been thoughtful all day, and there was no chance Alya would miss his looks at Marinette when they had walked into the classroom. _There’s no doubt that this is a recent development, or he just realized recently at least, but I don’t think that’s what that was. I think he’s been thinking about it all day. So what was it?_

Alya frowned, tapping her pen on her cheek. _Maybe Nino can get something out of him, I’ll ask later. First comes first though, and first is my bestie. I want her to tell me what happened in that classroom one more time._

Adrien had continued to get only more and more anxious as class went on. _Whatever he thought of must really bother him._ Still, watching his increasing agitation and inability to sit still was more productive than trying to follow the second half of a lecture, so Alya just kept spying. _I can’t say I’m surprised that he fell for Marinette, I do wish it wasn’t so quickly after discovering the soulmate thing. Mari isn’t one for the metaphysical woohoo, even if she does trust that Chat is her soulmate in some sense. She’ll think he’s just being dumb and pretending because that’s how he’s “supposed” to feel._

_Which… I guess I should just double check to make sure that’s not what’s happening, but that look was screaming “in love” so much that I’m not particularly worried. He is a model though. Can’t trust anyone when it comes to my best friend, sorry Adrien. Well, it’s not like I wouldn’t have grilled him anyway, let’s be real._

Alya plotted ways she could get the answers she needed, even actually using that paper on her desk though not for its intended purpose, for the rest of the class period, still keeping a close eye on Adrien.

By the time the teacher released them, Adrien was practically already out the door. Where he was off to, Alya had no idea, but she intended to let him get away with that. _For now._ No doubt he had some idea to handle whatever was bothering him, that occurred to him so suddenly, but Alya had no way of figuring out what that was aside from lying in wait and placing Nino to spy for her. Not that Nino would tell her if it was particularly personal, but that was okay. She wanted information, but she didn’t want to upset him, especially Adrien. She was still a professional and professionals had to have some respect for personal boundaries. _This is for Mari though, so heck if I’m not going to pull out all the stops._

Nino huffed when Adrien booked it out of the room, but sighed and collected his own things. He said his goodbyes to Marinette and Alya and left. Knowing that he was busy after school, Alya decided she’d just text him later to see if he knew anything rather than stopping him. Instead, she turned to her best friend and acted as if absolutely nothing was up whatsoever. _Can’t get her hopes up until I know what that was. He looked almost terrified. If liking Marinette scares him that much… or that could be because of the “let’s stay friends” thing. Hmm, yeah, no I need more information before telling Marinette. Remember the Chloe-Ladybug incident, Alya. Though there is something I can still work on._ “Marinette, tell me again what happened last Friday.”

Marinette groaned. “Again, Alya? I’ve told you like a thousand times!”

“Humor me.”

With a flat look as they rose and left the classroom, Marinette lowered her voice, walking close to Alya so she could hear without being eavesdropped on. “I met with Chat, it was super awkward. I told him I wanted to be just friends and he told me he wanted to become my friend as Chat before telling me who he is. That’s all there is to it.”

Alya’s gut told her that wasn’t all there was to it, but Alya had learned to listen to her gut only with a grain of salt and lots of supporting evidence. “Did he tell you why he wanted to be your friend as Chat? That’s a little strange.”

Marinette blinked. “He said… uh, he said that he acts a little differently when he’s not Chat.” _Well that’s not exactly wrong._ “And he said that I act differently around him, too. He said he wanted us to be friends before ‘identity shenanigans mess with things’, whatever that means.”

 _Of course._ Alya made a mental note to review Adrien’s behavior one more time even as she formulated her hypothesis. _Mari’s a mess with Adrien. He didn’t seem like he knew she had a crush on him, so he must have assumed something to explain her. Whatever it is, he felt it was big enough that it might make things difficult if she knew who he is. So he’s just scared. Aww, cutie. Still, that doesn’t explain his spazzing in the classroom, or how he fell so deep. That doesn’t sound exactly like a romantic conversation. Unless…_ “Have you seen him since then?” she asked Marinette a little bit more formally than she meant to. _Interview mode, I guess._

Marinette’s steps faltered. “I- n- yes, yeah, okay, yeah I did. He came by my balcony a couple times.”

“A couple times?!” Alya exclaimed in disbelief. “And you haven’t told me?!”

“There’s not much to tell!” Marinette grabbed Alya’s hand, and Alya knew it was a gesture to calm her down. _How much did I miss? How long were these conversations? How likely is it that Chat Noir fell head over heels in love with Marinette while they were “totally platonically” hanging out in the moonlight on a balcony in Paris? The answer is way too high. The cat fell in love with Ladybug during the first akuma they fought. He falls quickly. Two visits is plenty of time, especially for a hopeless romantic like Adrien._

Alya’s phone buzzed, but she ignored it. This was too important. “What do you mean there’s not much to tell? That’s two entire conversations!”

“More like one!” Marinette squeezed Alya’s hand. “The first time was really awkward and we didn’t say much except a few bad jokes and… I mean I guess it ended okay, we just kind of got comfortable around each other.”

“What did you say? When did this happen?”

“Saturday night.” Marinette looked at Alya guiltily. _With good reason, five whole days and I don’t even hear about this?!_ “Really it wasn’t a big deal. We just kind of sat there.”

“What about the second time then?”

“That was just last night. We talked, had hot chocolate. It was…” Marinette made a face, clearly not sure she wanted to say the word she was going to say, “nice.”

“Nice,” Alya repeated. “How nice, exactly?” Her phone buzzed again, but she ignored it.

“It was friendly! We talked, like friends.”

“The more you repeat the word ‘friend’, the more it sounds like more was going on.”

“Well there wasn’t! I’m emphasizing it because I know you’re going straight there and we agreed, Alya. Chat and I agreed we’re _just friends_!”

Alya narrowed her eyes, suspicious. “Did he agree? Or did you tell him?”

“Oh my god, Alya!”

“What? I was just- ugh, hold on.” Frustrated, Alya looked at her phone, which had begun vibrating to say she had a call. _Who calls now, god. I’ll get back to you when my best friend isn’t- oh. Adrien?_ With a cautious look at Marinette, Alya answered the call. “Adrien, what’s up?”

His voice came out sounding just a little too desperate. “Alya, finally, listen I really need to talk to you.”

“And you couldn’t wait until I replied to your texts?”

“No! Uh, I mean, it’s important!”

“I could tell. Talk to me, handsome. What’s bothering you?” Marinette was giving her a wide-eyed look, silently asking what was going on. Alya just shook her head and smiled, holding a finger to her lips.

“Okay so I was thinking about Marinette and I still don’t really know what to do to get her to talk to me and I couldn’t help but think of the possibility that- well actually, you know what? We should probably talk in person. When can you meet me?”

Alya let her face show her surprise at Adrien’s slurry of words. He hardly even stopped for breath as he talked. _Sheesh, it must have gotten under his skin big time._ She decided quickly that teasing him about his opening statement, “I was thinking about Marinette”, was probably not the best move for him or her waiting best friend right next to her, so instead she just responded as calmly as possible. “Look Adrien, you can’t just tell me that and not tell me what’s going on.”

“I will, just come talk to me I really need your help with this! Can you come over? Dad’s not home and Natalie won’t mind as long as we keep out of her way.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Let me tell my mom first.”

“Thank you so much Alya, you’re a life saver.”

“Can you at least give me a hint to this big scoop before we meet up?”

There was a long silence as Alya waited. “I… I think I’m Agamemnon.”

Alya, for once, had absolutely nothing to say to that. “…I’m sorry?”

“I said I think I’m Agamemnon!” Adrien’s voice was clearly distressed, but the words meant next to nothing to Alya.

 _Like… from the Iliad?_ “That might actually be one of the most unhelpful things you have ever said to me.” Alya waited another moment, and another, then pulled her phone from her ear and checked the screen with disgust. “He hung up!”

Marinette was quick to jump on the questions when it wasn’t her who had to answer, apparently. “What did he say?”

 _But I’ll forgive you because you’re in love._ “He said he thinks he’s Agamemnon.”

Alya watched Marinette pause her next breath, furrow her brow, and allow her mouth to hang open slightly. “What?”

“Heck if I know. Look, girl, I have to go talk to him, he sounded kind of freaked, but you’re _definitely_ telling me all about last night’s hook-up with your soulmate.”

Marinette went satisfyingly red. “It was not a ‘hook-up’! I told you, we just talked!”

Alya laughed. “And you’ll tell me more. Soon though. Tonight?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Fine. No later, girl. See you.”

“Bye.” Marinette said it almost like a question as Alya hurried away from her.

_Well, one scoop lost, another gained. I can talk to Marinette any time, but this is perfect to get the details out of Adrien. Plus, he did sound upset, so I have to see if I can calm him down before worrying about all these shenanigans._

* * *

 

Alya texted Adrien when she found herself standing at his front gate. It took all of about two seconds after getting the “delivered” notification for Adrien to come rocketing out the front door. _Good god, the dude is seriously distressed about this._ “Alya, thank you so much for coming. You’re the actual best.”

“I know.” Alya nonchalantly followed Adrien back inside, keeping herself calm and professional. Her own panicking over Adrien’s behavior would only stress him out more, and making sure he was okay was the number one priority. She didn’t say any more until the two had slipped into Adrien’s room, not far from the entrance actually, but since it was such a big room it felt like a fair distance. Even crossing the large entrance hall, Alya saw no other person in the house but them. When the door was safely shut behind them, Alya immediately turned on Adrien. “So what’s wrong? You okay, bud?”

He brushed past her to go and collapse on his couch, and Alya followed suit, reclining gracefully and keeping focused. Adrien ran his hands through his hair. “Not really? I was just thinking about Marinette and I couldn’t figure out why she still can’t talk to me!”

“And this is news to you?”

“I just have to be sure, Alya. Did I do something? How can I make it up to her? I want to be her friend but she just hates my guts and I don’t even really know why!”

Everything in Alya’s mind came to a screeching halt immediately. “Wait, wait, hold on, what was that? You think she _hates_ you?”

He just looked hopelessly up at her. “Of course, what else would it be?”

 _Oh my actual god, this is the most ridiculous situation I never even thought of. Honestly, I think I’m even more concerned if this kid jumps straight to “she hates me” without even having a reason why she would. That is_ not _a good mentality._ Alya shook her head. _But I can’t tell him about her crush, and I don’t have any other way of explaining her to him, so I have to just work with him given this assumption._ “Okay,” she said, “why would you think that?”

“Because she gets all red around me! She gets red and she can’t talk straight and what else is that if not rage?”

Briefly resisting the urge to throw herself out the window just to avoid the sheer _wrong-ness_ , Alya remained perfectly still. “And what are you planning on doing about it?”

He threw his arms up in defeat. “I don’t know! That’s why I needed to talk to you! What _can_ I do?”

Alya looked at him carefully. This was Chat Noir, but she really doubted that would help him much just yet. Alya still needed to confirm the actual extent of the relationship between Marinette and Adrien’s superhero side, and then she was still at a fifty-fifty chance of her either becoming hopeless around Chat, or hopelessly awkward (since that’s apparently the last Alya was able to hear about it) around Adrien. Neither were good options. “Tell me about the Agamemnon thing. What was that about?”

Adrien groaned loudly, throwing his head back and covering his face with his hands. “I just… Uh… Alya please tell me I didn’t like, accidentally steal away Marinette’s crush. I have no idea how I’d even fix that and I’ve been trying to figure it out all day but I _can’t_. It was… Agamemnon stole Briseis from Achilles, I’m scared that I stole whoever Marinette has a crush on.”

 _He knows Marinette has a crush on someone and it’s still not connecting, good god what is even happening here?_ “No, Adrien, you did not steal away Marinette’s crush,” she deadpanned.

“Oh thank god.” He pressed a hand to his chest and muttered, obviously not for her to hear, with a little grin that was just too good for the world and made Alya want to punch him in his perfect little face. “I can still be Patroclus.”

 _Oh my fucking god. Marinette’s not the one here that’s full of rage. That’s me. I’m the rage. “I can be Patroclus”, frick, heck, what the name of all that is good and bright, honestly Adrien you’re so in love it’s angering._ It took all of Alya’s self-control to retain her composure, but this was for Adrien and Marinette, she’d be the best gosh darn friend in existence no matter how much she wanted to wring both their necks. “Yes Adrien, you can still be Patroclus.”

He immediately jumped and flushed a deep red when Alya said that. “Oh my god, you heard that?”

“I did,” she said with a grin, “what are you going to do, lover boy?”

“Nothing! I mean, there’s nothing I can do, but I don’t want her to stay mad at me! Why is she mad at me?”

Alya almost wanted to laugh. _These dorks are actually going to kill me, I swear._ “Look Patroclus, try and think really hard about all the times you’ve talked to her. Was there ever a time when she didn’t seem to dislike you?”

Adrien bit his lip, looking away and squinting. “Yeah, actually. When we were training for the Mecha Strike tournament and when I translated for her uncle.”

“Any similarities between those two times that could give you a hint?”

“Well…” Adrien shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “Both times it was just us two. No other kids were around except Chloe for a little bit when I was translating.” _That’s interesting. I usually try not to leave them alone for Marinette’s sake, but she does tend to do well under pressure. Maybe she really can handle it better if she’s stuck with him._ “But I don’t want her to just talk to me because there’s no other choice.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that.”

“I have to! I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” He hugged himself for a moment before jolting straight again. “Wait, rewind. Did you say I _can_ be Patroclus?”

“I did.”

“You think I have a chance with Marinette?”

“I think you have a very good chance with Marinette.”

“But she hates me!”

“Adrien, look. I’m Marinette’s best friend. Trust me, you _definitely_ have a chance.”

Adrien made a weird, pained face. “But what if she just wants to be friends?”

“Then you either respect that or I’ll be Hector.”

She was sure he got a least a shade paler when he looked, wide-eyed, at her. “Ah, of course. I didn’t mean… Right. Nevermind.”

 _I do wish he’d just tell her who he is already, but this way… maybe it is for the best. If he can somehow get her to stop being so weird around him then their relationship would definitely be the better for it._ “Look, I’ll put in a good word for you, but you have to do the work yourself. You have to keep talking to her. See if you can get her alone sometimes, have lunch with her a few times, but keep it chill, don’t go overboard or you’ll freak her out. Work up to it.”

“Okay. Okay, I can do that.” Adrien nodded, seeming only slightly more sure of his course of action. “Will she really go for that though? Why would she agree to go anywhere with me?”

“She’s nice, and believe it or not she really wants to be your friend too.”

“She does?!” His eyes positively shone as he turned fully towards Alya. “Really? She wants to be my friend too?”

 _Well, more than that, but yeah._ “Of course!”

Adrien did the awkward thing that he did sometimes, going in for a hug but seeming to reconsider at the last moment and hesitating with his arms held out. Alya rolled her eyes and granted him his hug. “Ahh, thank you so much, Alya!”

She chuckled at him. “Alright, alright.” Pulling away, she examined his face. _Good, he seems better._ “Feeling better now, Patroclus?”

“Oh, much. Really, thank you. I have no idea what I would have done without you.”

“Good, then now you can tell me what’s going on. When did this start? Since when did you have a crush on Marinette?”

“I don’t ha- I don’t know?” Adrien grimaced. “Honestly it’s a recent thing.”

“Recent? How recent?”

“Like…” He sifted again, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Sort of very recent? But also I guess not? I don’t even really know how to explain it but…” With a huff, he leaned back into the couch, letting his head fall back so he was facing the ceiling. “I realized it really recently but I don’t know I guess I’ve always been kind of _willing_ to.”

“Oh really?” Alya smirked at him. _When would he have fallen for her? Marinette said the balcony thing was awkward but… of course._ “So… is this like, last night kind of recent?”

Adrien jolted upright again in his seat. “Uh… pfft, no. What would even cause that last night? It’s not like we talked.” Alya just coughed pointedly and raised her eyebrows at him. “You figured it out.” He sighed and let his shoulders slump. “How did you figure it out?”

“You gave Marinette some big clues, _Chat Noir_. Just because she didn’t notice doesn’t mean I didn’t. Being a model, overbearing dad, but then you basically confirmed it by letting me know you went to the same school as us.” Adrien just smiled sheepishly. “So what happened last night?! You absolutely have to tell me. I want all the details.”

“Okay, okay.” Adrien wring his hands together, sighed, and leaned back again, getting more casual this time and turning to face her, bringing one leg up, bent, onto the sofa and throwing one arm over the back. “So she invited me over because she was making hot chocolate.”

“ _She_ invited _you_ over?”

He blinked. “Yeah. Why?”

 _Okay Marinette, we really need to work on your communication skills. These are the things I need to know. Why did she invite Chat over when she was the one being hesitant? I mean she can hesitate as much as she wants, it’s important, but what the heck, Mari?_ “No reason, continue, please.”

Adrien gave her an uncertain smile but didn’t ask more. “Well I got there and we sat on her balcony and we talked. It was mostly just casual stuff; you know? Getting to know each other.”

“Like what? What exactly happened?”

“Well it started kind of awkward, so Marinette got us playing a weird sort of game. It’s… not really a game, but just I’d ask a question, she’d answer, then she’d ask and I’d answer, and we just went back and forth. It wasn’t exceptionally interesting.”

“It was interesting enough to get you madly in love with her.”

Adrien turned red again. “I wouldn’t say _that_.”

“Dude, you want to be her Patroclus.”

“Th-” Adrien froze. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair. But it’s just a dumb metaphor!”

“Mhmm, so why don’t you just tell me what these thoroughly uninteresting questions were, huh?”

“Just normal stuff! We asked each other our favorite colors, hobbies, that kind of thing.”

Alya narrowed her eyes, she knew there was something else. “And?”

“Well… then I asked her about Ladybug and me.” _Oh my god. Well, I know Marinette’s position on them. She’s a total Chat Noir fangirl. Subtle though. She tries to act indifferent, but she almost always leaps to his defense._ “And then things got… a little more personal.”

“What? Ooh, that sounds interesting. Tell me.”

“There’s not much I can say! Really!” He held his hands up like a shield between them as she leaned close. “I can’t exactly quote the conversation word for word.”

“Give me the major talking points.”

He thought it over for a minute before answering. “Well we talked about me a bit, and she really surprised me. I was honestly kind of scared because she seems to really like me as Chat Noir? But she hates me as Adrien so I don’t know how telling her who I am is going to affect things.”

“I can see how that might be scary.” _Especially if you think she hates you. Even with the crush though, I still think it’d be better to get through the flailing first. I know that’s just Marinette but if she can act like a human when she’s alone with him in her room while they play video games together, she can hold a conversation. And I’m not letting her mess up whatever she has with Chat Noir. That’d ruin the entire relationship for Adrien since being Chat is the only time he can really talk to her._

He nodded. “It’s terrifying. After that I found out she had a crush on someone, but she didn’t seem to want to tell me who so I tried not to push it. And then we talked a little about how I act different when I’m not being Chat and… uh… and then she…” His cheeks regained their pink tint. _Oh, something juicy happened then._ “Well we were joking around a little and she got up to put the mugs from the hot chocolate away and when she picked up my mug she, uh, never mind.”

“Adrien Agreste, you cannot leave me hanging like this!” Alya actually grabbed the boy by his shoulders and leaned in. “You tell me right now what she did. Did she say anything?”

“I- I really can’t! It’s a kitty’s promise. Kitty to kitty, we promised. I probably shouldn’t have even said anything I did.”

 _Kitty to kitty, what the heck, what?_ “What are you saying? What do you mean, man? What do you mean by ‘kitty to kitty’?”

His face actually turned as red as Marinette did on a fairly regular basis and Alya knew she caught him. “It was just a joke! She told me her birthday was in August and I realized she’s a Leo so I decided to tease her a little bit!”

“That does not justify the blush on your face, Patroclus.”

He bit his lip while Alya stared him down. After a few long moments he sighed again. “Okay, fine, but Marinette can’t know I told you this.”

“What would I say, I talked to Chat Noir? Don’t forget, you aren’t supposed to know any of this either.”

“Right. So… I told her about how I was quieter as Adrien, and she made a comment about me being quiet making her think of me hunting a mouse or something, so I said that I wasn’t going to pounce on a mouse but that- uh…” He looked away quickly as he spat out the last of his sentence. “I said that I wasn’t going to pounce on a mouse, but I might pounce on another kitty.”

Alya calmly raised an eyebrow. “Meaning her?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Meaning her. Anyway, she picked up my mug but when she was right next to me she said that she’d have to defend herself and that, and I quote, ‘kitty to kitty, you’re not the only one with claws’.”

“Good god, she said _that_?!”

“I know, I was surprised too!” He ducked his head and muttered one other thing in addition, and only after Alya had to ask for him to repeat himself twice over did he finally raise his head again, still tucked low with his shoulders raised, and say, “And she flicked my bell.”

That was when Alya lost it. Adrien actually had to rush over and clamp his hand over her mouth to muffle the scream that came out. “She _flicked_ your _bell_?! _Marinette_ did this?!”

“I know!”

He covered his face in his hands while Alya steadied herself. She watched him for a moment as she did so. “Did you like it?”

He glared at her, making her chuckle. “This entire conversation is completely confidential.”

“Naturally.”

“I liked it way more than I should have. I’m awful, oh my god.” Alya cackled as he ducked back into his hands, as if anything outside of them would just disappear. After Alya calmed down again though, he carefully peeked through his fingers. “But that wasn’t when I realized I liked her. It was just after that, actually. She gave me this _smirk_ and, ugh, Alya it was the best thing. And have you ever been on her balcony at night? It’s beautiful and way too romantic for her to seriously not expect me to fall in love I mean, come _on_.”

“My understanding is that you recommended the balcony, Patroclus,” Alya said.

“Yes, but she _could_ have picked another place!”

Alya scooted over and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, rubbing his arm gently. “It’s okay, man, basically everyone has fallen for her at some point. It was only a matter of time, really.”

“It’s totally unfair is what it is. I didn’t- okay I did ask but I didn’t _intend_ to have a romantic balcony scene like freaking Romeo or something. And, Alya, this is _right after_ she told me she just wanted to be friends, I’m _so_ screwed.”

“You’ll be fine,” Alya said confidently. _The only reason she said that is because she has a crush on the you that you think she hates anyway. Dummy._ “Tell me more about how awesome my best friend is.”

“That’s a terrible idea. She doesn’t like me, I should be trying to get over her.”

“Dude, you’re literally her soulmate!”

“Platonic soulmate! She made that clear!”

“Actually, from what Nino told me, the only thing she made clear is that she didn’t feel comfortable rushing into a relationship. Didn’t she say that you could think about that after you were already friends?”

Adrien paused at that, thinking. “She… did, didn’t she?”

“Exactly. You just need to be patient. Keep working at her as Adrien. Keep getting comfortable with her as Chat. I’ll be there for her outburst when she realizes she likes you.”

“You really think that’ll happen?” he asked with a doubtful glance.

“I’m sure of it.” _In fact, I’ll probably get an outburst by tomorrow, knowing her. Though it’ll be over Adrien. When will she fall for Chat, I wonder? Or will he reveal himself first? This is honestly way too fun for me. But they make it so easy._


	4. Beatrice

Unlike Alya and, apparently, most of the rest of the class, Nino wasn’t overly invested in Marinette and Adrien’s relationship. Sure, Marinette had a ridiculously obvious crush and Adrien was the definition of oblivious, but the two were chill. _Well, okay maybe not “chill”, but they’re both cool._ He didn’t really understand why it was such a big deal. They were awesome and Nino could definitely see them being great together but all he really cared about was that they were happy and having fun.

Plus, he did happen to know who Marinette’s soulmate was.

Boy had that come as a shock. Mostly because Nino knew exactly who said soulmate was before they actually told each other, so when Marinette came to him telling him about how Chat Noir was somehow her soulmate, Nino knew immediately. He hadn’t been as close to her as others, but he had been in the same class as Marinette for a lot longer than Adrien and Alya had. He recognized her art the first time Adrien showed him a picture of his arm totally tatted up after school one day.

It was pretty cute if Nino was going to be honest. Adrien was so excited about it and he spent a couple hours at least just stupidly grinning at all the different parts. Nino had seen Marinette draw on herself to that extent exactly six times prior, and knew very well that she was stressed to heck, but he didn’t say anything since he rarely saw Adrien smile like that and he didn’t want to make his best friend worry for her. He just let him think that she was drawing for him, and shook his head at how much of a hopeless romantic Adrien was. Besides, it wasn’t any of his business. The whole soulmate thing was weird anyway and Nino was not about to get mixed up in those kinds of shenanigans. _Not that that plan worked out well._

He still needed to talk to Adrien about it but he couldn’t exactly just ring up his best bro like “what up I know you’re a superhero”. No, he had to be gentle with Adrien, if he even confronted him about it at all. At that point Nino was pretty sure the non-confrontational path was probably the best. _If I don’t say anything, then it doesn’t matter. It’s not like it changes anything between us anyway._ _Besides, what would confronting him about it do? I get why he hasn’t told me._

Nino decided that, through all these weird things that were happening: his best bro being Chat Noir, that same bro being absurd and convincing everyone he had a massive and painfully obvious crush on his soulmate who is both not Ladybug and also just told him that she didn’t want to rush into that kind of relationship, it was probably best to just stay out of it as much as possible. _Or she’s not Ladybug as far as I know… you know what, honestly, even if she is, that is a bridge I’m not even going to look at. It’s none of my business._

If there was one thing Nino was good at, it was minding his own business. Sometimes, though, everyone else really made it difficult. With a glance up, he caught sight of Rose, nearby off to the side of the courtyard with Juleka, waving him over. “Hey girls,” he said when he approached.

Rose was practically vibrating. “Nino, you have to tell us, what _was_ that look Adrien gave Marinette in class yesterday?”

Nino was sure something twitched, he hoped it was something not noticeable. Because he’d been hearing about this _look_ Adrien had apparently given Marinette, and surprisingly not even from Alya. Everyone apparently just thought he was the inside scoop on all things Adrien. “Okay was I the _only_ one actually taking notes instead of staring at Adrien? Like, the dude is good-looking but gosh.”

Juleka smiled at him. “Marinette was taking notes too.”

“Nino, come on please,” Rose begged, “does Adrien have a crush on Marinette? When did he figure it out? How bad is it? No, never mind, that look told me exactly how bad it is. How did it happen?”

Nino just shrugged. “Dude, I didn’t even see this infamous ‘look’, so I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”

“Nino!” He flinched at the shrill voice behind him, not even bothering to turn around to face her. Chloe got in his face soon enough anyway. “Can you believe everyone’s saying Adrien likes Marinette now?” She scoffed.

_Hardly. I mean I saw the pining when we got to school this morning but that everyone is so convinced after one look is really silly. Pfft, as if I’m ever going to agree with Chloe though._ “Uh, hi Chloe. Why are you talking to me?”

Chloe lifted her nose to the air and huffed. “I can talk to who I want!”

“I mean yeah, but you, like, never talk to me. I thought we were on ‘ignore and hope they go away’.”

“Anyway, obviously we’re all just imagining things. Right, Nino?”

“I literally did not see it but there is no way I’m backing you up here.”

“Adrien would never look at Marinette like _that_.”

Rose held onto Juleka, looking frightened of Chloe, but she still managed a steady voice. “I’m pretty sure he was making hardcore heart eyes at her.”

“Well you’re imagining things!” Chloe exclaimed. “At _Marinette_. As if.”

Minding his own business was Nino’s specialty, but that didn’t mean he’d sit idle while Chloe talked behind his friend’s back. “Hey, what is that supposed to mean?”

Chloe waved him off casually (with her “casual” amounting to somewhere along the lines of “haughty”). “Just that Adrien is way too good for someone like Marinette. He’s above her. He’d never think of her like that.”

“If that’s what you think, then I think we have very different ideas of who Adrien is, dude.”

Rose gasped while Chloe just gave him a withering look. “So you think he does like her?” Rose asked.

_Duh. She’s his soulmate and he’s a hopeless romantic. That stuff’s bs but he believes it._ “I didn’t say that.” Chloe adopted a much too superior smirk at his words. _And believing it is all he needs to fall for her for real._ “But Adrien def- actually, look, I’m not going to gossip about Adrien, alright?”

“Nino!” Another familiar voice called, attracting his attention. Alix walked past casually and gestured with her head for him to follow her. _No rest for the wicked, huh? Am I wicked? Am I just being punished preemptively for some terrible crime I’m going to commit in the future?_

“Well, see you, girls,” Nino said, waving to Rose and Juleka before following after Alix. He trailed her straight out the front gate and kept going until she pulled him off to the side into the grass. “Okay, what did you want?”

“I have a question,” Alix said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “You know as well as I do that Chat secretly wants Mari.”

Nino gave her his best “unimpressed” look. “Do I?”

“Yes. You do. Cat behavior. Ears back means irritable, angry, or frightened. I’m going to venture a guess and say he was scared.”

Nino thought back to the previous Friday. Chat Noir _did_ have his ears back when Marinette told him she wanted to be just friends. “Why would he be scared? Sad, maybe, if he wanted more, not scared.”

“Scared because he realized that they don’t want the same thing and he’s a hopeless romantic and he doesn’t want to mess up what relationship he has with her.”

_I think it’s more likely he was scared to tell her that he’s Adrien because he has that idea that she hates him. That’s a possibility too, though. He_ is _a hopeless romantic._ “Okay, say I’m convinced. What’s your question?”

“I was just a little worried about him. He’s too nice to say anything, but he clearly has something going on there, and with everyone on about that look Adrien gave Marinette, it could be only a matter of time before those two dorks get together.”

“Please.” Nino rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t matter how obvious they are; I guarantee you if they get together it will be because of direct influence from Alya. And maybe me, because of Alya.”

“Result’s the same, man. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but if Chat Noir is heartbroken…”

Nino quirked an eyebrow at Alix’s uncomfortable expression. “Less effective city saving?”

“Let’s go with that, yeah.”

“Actually,” Nino said, looking carefully at her, “let’s not. Why do you care about it?”

Alix cracked her knuckles, but bit her lip and looked away. “I’m only telling you this because I need info, DJ.” She sent him a glare, effectively turning her intimidation factor back on and making Nino feel the need to swallow down his fear. _I swear every girl I talk to is absolutely crazy. If she’s not obsessed with someone, she’s just plain terrifying. Alya’s both. Maybe I have a trend._ “I might feel kind of responsible for him.”

“Why?”

“Well I did kill him once.”

Nino remembered the Timebreaker incident, just like he remembered seeing all the news reports on the Bubbler incident. “Ah, I see.” No more explanation was necessary for him. He very nearly made every adult in Paris fly into space, so he had a fair idea of what Alix was feeling.

_Can I tell her that Adrien is Chat? Like, would that be chill to do? No, I don’t think so. It’s pretty clear at this point that Adrien could date Marinette and no one but me and Alya would know he’s Chat. How they managed to pull that off, I’ll never even begin to understand. Even if she was going to figure it out eventually, it’s still pretty uncool of me to go around telling people about my best bro’s secret identity._

_So what do I say?_

“So, do you know if Adrien likes Marinette or not?”

“Not really, girl. I was busy yesterday so I didn’t talk to him.”

“Do you know what Marinette thinks about Chat?”

Nino shrugged. “No. I can tell you that she cares about the soulmate thing about as much as I do. He’d have to legit woo her if he wanted a chance.”

Alix rolled back onto her heels as she thought. “That’s what I was afraid of. Well, looks like I have to involve myself in these weird soulmate shenanigans.”

“Why would you have to get involved?”

“Obviously Alya is working her butt off to get Mari and Adrien together. As you said, those two would miss the broad side of a barn if it got torn off the building and chucked at them à la akuma.”

Nino felt like it was in his best interest to back out right then and never even give Alix a chance to say what she was scheming. Mostly because he had a good idea of what it was. Mostly because if Alya found out, things would happen. Not all of those things would be good. Most of them wouldn’t be good. Still, he found his mouth forming the word before his brain caught up. “So?”

“So I’m going to do the same thing, except I’m going to be better, and I’m going to get Mari with Chat.” _That is literally the same goal, please stop._ “Alya has an advantage, being Mari’s best friend. But it takes two to tango, and Adrien is totally helpless.”

“Adrien actually knows how to tango.”

Alix gave him a flat look. “Wonderful. Thank you for that fascinating information. I’ll make sure it goes straight on my blog.”

“You don’t have a blog.”

“Thank you, you’re just full of amazing observations today, aren’t you?”

Nino coughed awkwardly, not sure what to say. _Why are people trying to set everyone up? It’s like Beatrice and Benedick’s love story, except they clearly actually like each other from the beginning and are just idiots who don’t follow through._

_God, I need to stop hanging out with Adrien. Since when do I think with_ Shakespeare _references? It’s all his fault. Freaking thespian. I am never letting him make me run lines with him again._

“Alya’s got you whipped, so I’m not expecting your help.”

“Excuse me?”

“But don’t tell her I’m working against her. While that would be fun and it would distract her from her main goal, it would also distract me. I need to focus to pull this off. Not exactly my expertise, you know. And I can’t exactly draw in outside help because identity shenanigans.”

“Why do you even want to help him?”

“Nino, I freaking killed the guy. I’m going to at least try to get him with his crush.”

“I don’t think he thinks you owe him anything.”

“Well then maybe I’m just bored.” Alix threw up her hands, sighing exaggeratedly. “Who cares. I’ve decided I’m going to do it so those two will be together by next month or so help me I will fight Alya.”

“Fighting Alya always ends badly.”

“For one of us, it will.”

Nino just shook his head. _This is absolutely ridiculous. I am so out of here. I’m done._ “Well, have fun with that. I’ll just go to class and pretend this conversation never happened.”

“Yeah, good. We never talked.”

* * *

 

After class, surprisingly, it was Adrien and Alya who ran off together, leaving Nino in his seat to sigh and pack up his things at a rate resembling that of an actual human.

He finished packing his bag and turned to face Marinette. “So what’s new?” he asked casually.

Marinette sighed. “Well for one, I’m not even entirely sure who Alya’s trying to set me up with anymore. What do you think, Nino? Adrien or Chat?”

_Literally it makes zero difference. Zero. None of the difference. God._ “I don’t know, do you like Chat?”

Marinette’s face went a little red. She scoffed. “That obnoxious, loudmouth, flirt? As if that would ever happen. You know the soulmate thing is dumb anyway.”

Nino resisted the urge to slam his head on the desk. He did not, however, successfully resist the urge to close his eyes, rub his temples, and mutter, “God, you are literally Beatrice, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Okay, look, B. We have to set one thing straight.” Nino stared her in the eyes as he spoke. “I am not, in any circumstances, going to play Hero, okay? Not Hero, not Claudio, I’m having no part in this.”

“You are making absolutely no sense.”

“Ugh, it’s just some dumb play that Adrien made me read. All the other characters convinced Beatrice and Benedick that the other one loves them.”

He saw Marinette’s mind working. “This isn’t even almost like that.”

“You’re right. It’s the exact opposite. You’re waiting for someone to convince you that you like Chat.”

“I am not! I’m capable of figuring out my own feelings, thank you!”

“I know you are, girl, but let’s be real. He’s your actual soulmate.”

“For all that means anything.”

“It means a lot to him.” Nino frowned, his conversation with Alix running on repeat in his head. “Why don’t you know who he is already, anyway?”

“You were there, Nino! He wants to be friends first.” _Because he thinks you hate him, goddamn it why can’t we just tell you that you like each other! Why can’t Alya just be Hero and get this all over with? Then Alix would be off the case before she does something stupid and Mari and Adrien would be dating and probably disgustingly cute like twenty-four seven._

_I guess we have to somehow… convince Adrien that he’s already friends with Marinette? Or at least convince him that Mari doesn’t hate him so he can stop being terrified of that._

_Wait. God, no. No shenanigans. This is not my business. If my best bro and Mari want to spend their days sassing around each other then who am I to stop them. I’m no Hero._

_Goddamn it that was both a pun and a Shakespeare reference at the same time seriously Adrien I’m going to murder you, this is all your fault._ Nino put his head down on his desk. _I can hear you laughing at my suffering. Some best bro you are._

_And they’re not sassing around each other, they’re just being difficult. Why can’t I get this dumb metaphor out of my head? It doesn’t even work!_

Nino saw Marinette get up and move to his desk, gesturing for him to rise as well. Together, they began their walk out of the school. _Is she not friends with Chat yet? Have they not been meeting at all?_

Marinette sighed, giving Nino a look. “But then, I don’t really know where the line for ‘friend’ is. I honestly don’t really care much about his identity anyway.” _You will when he tells you he’s Adrien._ “And we’re still a little awkward, so whatever happens there, happens.”

“That’s a good way to handle it.”

“I thought so too.” Marinette sighed. “Any idea why Alya’s redoubling her efforts to make me confess to Adrien?”

_Because he’s your soulmate but you somehow managed to get yourselves in a position where you think it’s someone else?_ “No. Maybe she thinks if you don’t start dating Adrien soon, Chat Noir will sweep you off your feet.”

“Which she seems almost equally excited about.” Marinette rubbed her eyes and dragged her hand down her face. “But that’s so not going to happen.”

“Sure, Beatrice.”

“Why are you calling me that?”

“Because! You’re making such a big-” Nino cut himself off before he could finish his statement. He groaned and put his own face in his hands. “You’re making much ado about nothing. Oh my god, Adrien is such a terrible influence on me.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’m just saying, girl. Just because he’s your soulmate, that doesn’t mean anything. You do whatever you want. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Maybe do try to convince Adrien you don’t hate him though.”

Marinette’s eyes went wide. “Wait, Adrien thinks I hate him?!”

“Yep.”

“I thought I was being painfully obvious.”

“So did everyone else.”

Nino’s phone vibrated. He took it out to see a text from Alix waiting for him.

A – Get the cat’s phone number for me.  
N – dude no way don’t drag me into ur shenaniagans  
A – Fine, I’ll do it myself. Keep your pretty mouth shut.

Nino rolled his eyes and jumped when Alix appeared behind him not two seconds later. “Marinette!” she said pleasantly, smiling as both Marinette and Nino turned to face her. “Hey, my phone is dead, can I borrow yours to call my brother? He’s picking me up today.”

Marinette smiled back. “Of course!” she said, unlocking her phone and handing it over.

Just as Alix got a hold of the phone, another voice interrupted them. “H-hey Marinette.”

Nino turned to see Nathanaël on the other side of them, effectively drawing Marinette’s attention away from Alix. _What the heck Alix? When did you even plan this?_ He caught sight of her cocky grin as she tapped away at the phone.

“Hey Nathanaël! What do you need?”

“I was just wondering if you had today’s notes? I got a little distracted with a drawing and missed part of them.” He rubbed his arm nervously, but kept his eyes on her. Nino, however, was looking back and forth between their conversation and Alix, who had, in a flash, copied down a number on the palm of her hand.

“Oh, yeah, I can send you a picture of them when I get home, would that work?” Nathanaël, for the first time, glanced behind Marinette at Alix, who had quickly typed in a number on the phone and was holding it to her ear.

“Yeah, that’s great. Thanks a lot, Marinette!”

“No problem!”

Nathanaël scurried away just a little too quickly, but when Marinette turned around again, Alix was well into her conversation with her brother. “…yeah I’ll meet you there. Cool, thanks bro.”

She grinned, hanging up and handing the phone back to Marinette. “Thanks Mari, you’re the best.” With a wink, Alix walked away, after Nathanaël.

_I cannot believe she just pulled that off._

“Anyway, what were we talking about?” Marinette asked. “Oh, right. Why would Adrien think I hate him?”

“Honestly, he thinks you’re just a tiny ball of rage.” Nino gripped his phone tightly, glancing over to see Alix disappear out the front gate of the school. “He’s a little bit attracted to it, but mostly terrified.”

Marinette started sputtering as her face turned red. “A-attracted?”

“Heck yeah, the dude’s helpless.” Nino wasn’t really thinking about what he was saying. Instead, he was drafting his text in his mind.

N – did you seriously just steal chat noirs phone number

Marinette was still blushing and sputtering incoherently when Alix responded.

A – To be fair, if I had any hope of seeing him myself I would have just talked to him first. Alas, superhero.  
A – But yes, yes I did. I told you bro, it’s happening.

“I-I don’t- I don’t understand,” Marinette said, finally.

That’s when Nino realized what he told her. _Oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to say that._ “Uh, yeah, haha. Don’t tell him I told you.”

“But why would he think I hate him?”

“Obliviousness? You’re always blushing and stuttering around him.”

“Exactly! You’d think he’d figure out that I like him!”

“Girl, don’t ask me.” Nino just sighed. “My dude isn’t exactly the best with that kind of thing. But you’re going to have to do something, because Alya and I have sworn to not tell him that you like him and we don’t know how else to convince him that you don’t loathe his existence.”

Marinette let out a loud groan. Her phone let out a chime before she could actually say anything, though. “Oh, it’s Chat,” she said, unlocking it. Nino turned his attention to his own phone while Marinette responded.

N – what did you say to the cat  
A – Oh, nothing. I just gave him some friendly motivation.  
N – alix I stg  
A – So now you care?  
N – no I don’t I don’t care at all do what you want why would I care  
A – mhmm  
N – just please tell me you didn’t threaten him  
A – Of course I didn’t threaten him. I just encouraged him to pursue the woman of his dreams :)  
N – I do not trust you one bit   
A – Chill, DJ. Everything’s figured out.  
N – that does not reassure anyone  
A – Well that’s your problem then.

Marinette drew his attention by sighing exaggeratedly. He looked up at her, and she just held her phone out to him.

CN – so purrincess, I hear you’ve found a new prince! care to enlighten me?

_Oh my god, Alix told him to ask about Marinette’s crush._

M – Yes I told you about that on my balcony. I also told you it’s none of your business.  
CN – but princess, I have only the noblest of intentions.  
M – Right.  
CN – I’m assuming they’re some lucky boy or girl at our school. so I’m going to be your wingcat and make absolute sure they stop being dumb and missing your brilliance.  
M – Sorry Tomcat, I’ve already got an Alya for that.  
CN – kitty 2 kitty?

“Kitty to kitty?” Nino asked, reading the last message.

Marinette grumbled. “I made the mistake of letting him know my birthday.” Nino had trouble connecting the dots, but thankfully Marinette elaborated. “He realized that I’m a Leo.”

“Oh.” Nino thought about the conversation. _Don’t get involved. Don’t get involved._ “Why don’t you just tell him? What harm could he do?” _Goddamn it._

“Well he could talk to Adrien, for one.” _He_ is _Adrien! Oh my god!_

_At least if this does happen I won’t have to deal with their pining. But god, what if Adrien starts reciting love poetry, he’s bad enough as it is._ “That’d be bad? I think Adrien and Chat would get along great.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.”

Nino wasn’t sure what to think. “What, you think Adrien would fall for Chat?” he teased. “I don’t think that would work out, frankly.”

“No, but now that you mention it, Adrien did ask me after the Evillustrator incident about how quote unquote ‘awesome’ Chat is.” Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose. “And he kept trying to talk Chat up, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Chat wouldn’t steal Adrien from you. Not if he knew you liked him.” _And also because he is the same person. Why is this conversation happening? Why am I involved? This is terrible._

_Oh god, I’m helping Alix, aren’t I?_

“I know, but I’m afraid Chat is trying too hard. I don’t want him to even know about Adrien because if he did he’d try to help me and that would either hurt him or ruin all my chances with Adrien. Probably both.”

“What makes you say that?”

Marinette sighed. “Chat was pretty clear to me that he was interested in romance.” _He was?_ “If he wasn’t he wouldn’t have brought it up as an option.” _When was this?_ “And I don’t know _how_ interested he is, but I can’t let him put himself through trying to set me up with someone else if he really is interested.”

“So you’re just being too nice.”

“Maybe.”

_Of course, if she does tell Chat about Adrien then Adrien will know she doesn’t hate him. That would make it easier for Adrien to be around her, and hopefully, that would make it easier for her to be around him? Alix, what the heck. But Alix doesn’t know that so what is she even trying to do? Is she just making sure Chat knows who he’s competing with? Or, what if she does know, and she’s just cleverer than I give her credit for?_ “Tell him not to do anything then. He wouldn’t do it if you told him not to.”

“I suppose you’re right. There wouldn’t be much of a harm. He already knows I like someone. Knowing it’s Adrien wouldn’t make too much of a difference as long as he promises not to interfere.” _That’s a promise he can’t keep._ Marinette turned her phone so he could see as she typed a response to Chat.

M – Why do you even care?  
CN – If my princess’ prince can make her happy then I want to do everything I can to help.   
CN – You’re my soulmate and my friend and I want you to be happy.

Marinette rolled her eyes, sending Nino a pointed look after his message came in.

M – Fine. But only if you promise not to bother him.  
CN – I will not lay paw nor whisker on him, if that is what my princess wishes ;3  
M – And don’t make a joke either, Tomcat. I know you’re waiting for it.  
CN – I would never!   
M – It’s Adrien Agreste.

There was no response, but a few minutes later, Nino swore he heard high-pitched screaming in the distance over the din of the courtyard. Whether that was Adrien or Alya, or just a random happenstance, or if he imagined it, he figured he’d never know. _Heck, maybe there’s another akuma or something. Or it’s just public school._

Where they were standing, though, it was all too quiet. Marinette was fidgeting uncomfortably as they waited for Chat’s reply, and Nino just didn’t feel like anything he had to say was remotely comforting or intelligent.

“Why isn’t he saying anything? I swear if that dumb cat tries to pull something, I’m going to murder him. I don’t care if he is a superhero I will remove that dumb tail from his dumb butt.”

_He’s probably just having a mental breakdown. At least that’s through though._ Nino unlocked his phone, glaring at his conversation with Alix.

N – I hate you  
A – It worked then?  
N – because of me ur welcome ugh why did you have to get me involved  
A – You didn’t have to. I had a backup plan.  
N – I do not want to know  
N – what are u even trying to do  
A – Get them together, obviously. I have a few theories, and this move is beneficial regardless of whether they turn out true or not. It was just a logical start.  
A – Heck, if the circumstances are right, this may be all I even have to do!  
A – And don’t even pretend to be bitter about this. I know you’re as fed up with their antics as I am. And it was entirely your choice anyway, I didn’t even ask you to help.  
N – its still all your fault  
A – Keep telling yourself that.

Marinette jerked in surprise when her phone buzzed. She looked at the message first before holding it out so Nino could see.

CN – the model? princess, what taste ;3  
M – Just because he’s not an alley cat  
CN – I’ll have you know that this alley cat knows how to clean up.  
M – Not by licking yourself, I hope.  
CN – ha ha. on the contrary. I use soap and water and everything.

_This is actually painful._

CN – I bet if you met me without the mask you’d be blown away.  
CN – Adrien Agreste would pale in comparison.

_What are you even saying dude you’re literally Adrien._

M – Consider me doubtful.  
M – And I don’t just like him because he’s attractive!  
CN – of course not. I know my princess needn’t resort to such superficial attributes.  
M – Shut up, Chat. Adrien’s a nice person, and he’s always kind and super respectful and he doesn’t deserve everyone after him just because he’s pretty.

Marinette kept typing, but she pulled her phone back so Nino stopped reading. He was not about to read over her shoulder. If she wasn’t showing him, then it was none of his business.

_Well, Benedick knows Beatrice loves him, but Beatrice still has no idea. Well, she has some idea, but shenanigans that make this metaphor null make things more complicated. Now he just needs to tell her he’s Chat Noir and they can date and then we can all get back to our lives._

_Except Alya’s probably having way too much fun with this. I wonder what else she and Alix are going to do to make everything more complicated than it needs to be._

_God, what is Adrien thinking right now? I should probably go talk to my dude soon. He still needs to explain that “look”, or at least tell me what to say to people. Plus now that he knows Marinette likes him he’s probably freaking out. With Alya, probably._


	5. Friskies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had way too much fun writing this.

_Theory one: Adrien is Chat Noir._

_Evidence: have you looked at them? They’re both pun-loving nerds obsessed with mythology and Shakespeare. They’re both sport fencers. From Chat’s style, I’m assuming that, at least. Both are blond with green eyes, though I guess the eyes aren’t reliable since Chat’s have obviously been changed what with the green sclera. Both are hopeless romantics. Taken from being in the same room as Adrien for more than two minutes and watching Chat with Ladybug, and with Marinette last Friday. Not to mention Chat goes to our school._

_If Adrien isn’t Chat Noir, then he’s just very strong competition for Marinette’s affections. Win or lose, Marinette has tall, blond, and handsome waiting for her._

Alix sat back and sighed, scratching out one of the ideas she had written in her notebook.

_There’s only two options here. Either Adrien is Chat Noir, or he isn’t. Either way, if I want to get Chat and Mari together, then it’ll help us if Chat knows it’s Adrien he’s competing with. So step one complete. Now what?_

_Well, theory two: Chat Noir wants to date Marinette._

_Evidence: circumstantial at best, I have to admit. We can’t be certain cat body language even applies and if it does, Nino was right when he said that Chat being scared, or nervous, or whatever, doesn’t mean he wants to date Marinette. It’s a little bit of a non sequitur, and I am not in the business of bad arguments._

_Even if I told Nino that, but that was mostly just to get him involved. And now he is. Poor boy._

_I guess I could just ask him. I wasn’t exactly subtle when I told him to ask about Mari’s crush. Hm, yeah, I’ll probably just ask._

_There’s also that if Adrien is Chat, then that look everyone’s talking about would be explained. He fell in love during his last balcony visit._

Alix frowned at her paper, tapping her chin with her pencil.

_Theory three: Marinette holds some romantic interest in Chat Noir._

_Evidence: her whole “maybe after we know each other better” thing. If you’re really not interested, you just say it. Especially in that kind of situation. It’s possible she was trying to let him down lightly, but I don’t think that’s really Mari’s style. She tends to take a firm hand. You can be nice about it without leaving it so ambiguous._

_I know asking her won’t do any good. Maybe if Chat makes a move… no. Too dangerous. If Chat is Adrien he wouldn’t make a move anyway, even if I told him to. Not without her permission, and if he asks she’ll undoubtedly say no. And if she seriously doesn’t want it then that could ruin it for him and that’s the opposite of a good result._

Alix stared at her notes for a few minutes in silence.

_And then there’s theory four._

Alix ran a hand down her face, scratching at the written out theory with her pen, but not quite scratching it out _Irrelevant. I hope. That would add a whole other layer of bs to this already shenanigan riddled endeavor._

_Okay, so… I’m about eighty percent certain of theory one, sixty-five percent certain of theory two, but that’s more gut reaction and not evidence based so I’ll lower it to fifty, and forty percent certain of theory three. About forty-five percent on theory four._

_Let’s act based under the assumption that all theories are false until proven true. That means I should probably test theory two. That’s by far the easiest to figure out._

Alix grabbed her phone and looked over her conversation with Chat Noir. She remembered that she was in a bit of a hurry when she first texted him, since she wanted to get things rolling. _Which I did._

A – Hey, sorry about taking your number. I swear Mari has no idea I took it.

It took a few minutes for him to respond.

CN – :/  
A – Don’t give me that face. It was for your own good.  
CN – I don’t really get why tho.  
A – Well it worked, didn’t it?  
CN – still.  
A – I won’t give out your number, don’t worry. And I’m not as oblivious as Marinette, no one’s getting it off me.  
CN – .-.  
A – Ugh, whatever. That’s what I get for trying to be nice.  
CN – this is kind of supposed to be a secret number so sorry if I’m not thrilled :P  
A – Who cares, I have business.  
CN – important business?  
A – Yes.  
CN – how important are we talking about here?  
A – Like as important as Bourgeois likes to think she is.  
CN – that’s pretty important.  
A – Okay yeah, I lied. But I think you’ll think it’s pretty important.  
CN – well consider me curious.  
A – So tell me something Mr. Noir.  
CN – (omg)  
A – What are your intentions with Marinette?  
CN – my intentions?  
A – Do you or do you not want to enter a romantic relationship with our girl Mari?  
CN – the answer to that question  
CN – is a resounding  
CN – *redacted*  
A – Come on cat-boy, don’t be troublesome. Just answer the question.  
CN – I’m sorry I’m trying.  
CN – *redacted*  
CN – it’s almost like someone is stopping my texts.  
CN – *redacted*  
CN – what a catastrophe. looks like we’ll never know.  
CN – someone obviously wants that information hidden. maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this. you never know when someone’s watching.  
A – You’re terrible.  
CN – So I’ve heard.  
A – As you’re avoiding the question, I’m going to assume the answer is the most embarrassing one.  
A – Which is that you like her.  
A – Which btw isn’t embarrassing at all.  
A – Thank you for your time. ;)  
CN – hang on, I never said that! don’t assume things!  
A – So you don’t want to date her?  
CN – I am and always will be interested in my lady, for the record.  
A – So Ladybug.  
CN – Yes.  
CN – my feelings for Marinette can be amounted to one word.  
CN – and that word is  
CN – *redacted*  
A – I swear to god, Chat.  
CN – ok fine, sorry. Marinette is my soulmate, of course I’m interested in her.  
CN – a little.  
CN – she compares not to my lady.  
A – You’re so dumb, how are you a hero?  
CN – I think it has something to do with magical destruction powers ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
A – I will destroy your face, you dumb cat.  
CN – so aggressive. is this any way to treat a hero?  
A – You know Mari brought me that day because she knows I can and will punch you in the face.  
CN – you can but you won’t.  
A – Want to bet?  
CN – so why did you want to know if I like Marinette?  
A – Change the subject, sure.  
A – I asked because I’m getting you two together.  
CN – wait, wHAT?  
CN – ALIX I SWEAR IF YOU RUIN THINGS FOR ME  
A – Cannot compare to Ladybug, huh?  
A – Don’t worry Kitty, I’m the best wingwoman you’ll ever see.  
CN – I DO NOT BELIEVE ONE WORD OF THAT  
A – Then I’ll just have to prove it.  
CN – WAIT YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE WHOLE SITUATION  
A – Oh really? Care to enlighten me, then?  
CN – um.  
CN  – *redacted*  
A – Right then, I’ll get to the drawing board. Try not to hurt yourself in the meanwhile.  
CN – Alix pls.

_I’ll have to watch Adrien closely tomorrow. If his behavior is different, in the right way at least, then that could bump up my belief in theory one to ninety-five percent. At that point I can start acting under the assumption that it’s true. Theory two has been confirmed, so that just leaves figuring out theory three. I told Nino, it takes two. I need to establish where Marinette stands on this, and then, if possible, try to steer her in the direction that will lead to them getting together._

CN – Alix no.

_Of course, there’s always theory four to consider, but I think even if it is true, it won’t matter much for what I’m concerned about. It could affect the lasting relationship but if I can convince Mari to date him in the first place then my job is done. Not my secret anyway._

_So how do I go about confirming theory three? Maybe Alya could give me some information, but that’s heading into dangerous waters. I could just talk to Marinette. Unfortunately, I can’t make Nath do it, since he can’t know we’re dealing with Chat Noir. Eh, it shouldn’t be a problem. I’m friends with Marinette. Mostly. I need to figure out the right things to ask though so she doesn’t know I’m digging. She knows that I know Chat is her soulmate so she’ll read deeper into any questions from me. She also probably would never suspect that I’m working to set her up with him, so that works in my favor._

CN – Did you leave?

Alix got up and stretched, putting down her notebook and pen before starting to prepare for bed. _Mari’s pretty oblivious, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to be careful. Of course I_ could _just be upfront about it, but this will be more fun if I’m working around it this way. So things will have to be somewhat organic. If I go and start interviewing her, she’ll catch on quick, regardless of how carefully I ask._

Alix continued pondering her course of action, and an hour later as she turned out her light, she looked at the last of the texts from Chat Noir.

CN – Alix come back.  
CN – I’m gonna cry.  
CN – fine you got me. I’m not crying.  
CN – …you could have at least said good night. rude.  
CN – good night, btw.

Alix smirked, checking the time stamp on his last text. _Just a minute ago, good._

A – Good night, Chat <3  
CN – don’t you “<3” me, you stole my number.  
A – ;P  
CN – <3

Alix snorted as she put her phone away. _Sure, I can’t heart you but you can heart me. You’re not the number thief though, so I guess I’ll forgive you. Dumb cat._

 

* * *

 

 

Adrien acted different around Marinette. And it started from the moment he walked into the classroom.

Alix was paying attention.

He strut in with Nino by his side, immediately looking straight to Marinette’s seat, where the poor girl was already sitting, and winked, letting out a chipper, “Good morning, Marinette!”

 _Strike one, kitty cat._ Marinette went red, of course, and stuttered out a half-coherent greeting of her own. _That doesn’t help though, I already know she likes Adrien._

Alix opened her notebook, writing in Adrien’s behavior in the section she had prepared the night before labelled “Phase 1: Observation”. _He was nervous and awkward around her before. If he did greet her by name in the morning, he was always much more tense and always held his shoulders up. He just greeted Marinette not only enthusiastically, but without looking the least bit nervous. Shoulders down, chin up, body relaxed. Current theory: someone told him something that changed his view of Marinette, or his idea of how she viewed him. Because she told him she liked him except he was Chat._

 _God, and they’re worried about_ Alya _having too much fun with this._

Alix spent all of school until lunch looking over and watching Adrien. Honestly, the hardest part about the entire thing was keeping Mylène from seeing what she was writing. And that wasn’t difficult at all.

_It’s nearly lunchtime and Adrien has looked back at Marinette in the middle of class a total of twelve times. As a control, Mylène looked over at Ivan all of three times. Of course she’s already dating him, so she’s not exactly the best control group. Still, I wish I could say how many times Adrien looked back before Marinette told Chat that she liked Adrien. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t anywhere near twelve but I wasn’t exactly paying attention and that’s not just something I can remember._

When the bell rang, Alix looked up from her notes to watch Adrien’s next move.

Which was to ask Marinette and Alya to have lunch with him and Nino.

_Strike two. Alya and Nino sometimes ask for group lunch but you, sir, have not once ever been the one. I know that for a fact. I heard Mari complaining about it to Alya a while ago._

_Oh, maybe I can…_ Alix took out her phone as quick as she could but stopped herself before sending the text. _But he wouldn’t react, the phone’s probably in his bag, not in his pocket. If it’s Adrien then it wouldn’t be his main phone. Huh. I wonder if I could catch him answering it later. Would he even answer it if he’s out with Marinette? Then he knows it’s me texting him._

_If I want to do that then I have to catch him later, when he isn’t with Mari. And when he doesn’t know I’m in the same room as him. Stick to the prepared plans._

_I have two chances,_ Alix reminded herself as she stood, beginning on her route to Nathanaël’s desk before heading out the door. _Now, before they leave, and after they come back from lunch. Because I’m not going to follow them. Though there’s probably some really good info to get while they’re eating together. Oh well. There’s after school too, of course. That’s when I’m going after Marinette._

_For now, let’s confirm that Adrien is Chat Noir. So… let’s start the experiments._

Alix grinned at Nathanaël. “Okay Nath, I need you to help me out with something.”

“Please, no. I already feel weird helping you snoop through her phone.”

Alix rolled her eyes. “I already told you, I wasn’t snooping. It was important.”

Nathanaël sighed. “Of course not. What is it?”

“Tell me something.” Alix smiled, taking a folder out of her bag. With a flourish, she pulled a charcoal drawing she had made last night (of a cat. It felt appropriate.) out of the folder. A very, very messy charcoal drawing. “Is this good?”

Nathanaël eyed the drawing, clearly looking at it with the critical eye of an artist. “Uh, yeah? That one leg is a little short for that perspective. You could-”

 _Good, it’s noticeable then._ Alix laughed, cutting him off, and hurried away to catch Marinette before she left. “Thanks. Just play along or hang back for a sec, okay?”

Nathanaël bit his lip and stayed quiet, frowning a little. _Sorry bud. I really wish I could tell you what’s going down._

_Anyway. Hypothesis: if Marinette gets charcoal on her, then Adrien will as well._

“Marinette! Hey, glad I caught you.” Alix ran up to the group of four, careful with her drawing.

“Hey Alix!” Marinette said. “What’s up?”

“Oh not much. I want to ask you a favor though, it should only take a second.” When Marinette gave affirmation, Alix continued. “I think I need a second opinion. You see, I’ve been trying to get better at drawing.” She took the paper and folder and held them out to Marinette. “Nathanaël’s my best friend. He helps, of course, but I just want an unbiased opinion. Anything standing out that I need to work on?” She took out a pencil and handed it to Marinette. “If you could just write a little note in the corner there so I don’t forget, that’d be perfect.”

“Oh, okay.” Marinette smiled. Alix watched her hand closely, but she spared enough time to see Nino’s nervous glance from Marinette’s hand to Adrien’s. _Not a guarantee, and it might be hard to catch on Adrien, but it’s a good chance._ “Well you’re doing good so far. The proportion in the left hind leg is a little off.” _I am a genius._ When Marinette touched the pencil to paper, Alix smiled when she noticed the edge of Marinette’s pinky touch the paper as well.

It was only for a second, but when Marinette lifted her hand again, Alix got a look at the smudged edge of Marinette’s little finger. _Success. Now to see if my hypothesis yields true._

Throughout the rest of Marinette’s short lecture, Alix payed attention (because she really was trying to learn how to draw. Nathanaël was fair, but another perspective was appreciated, even if it was just a quick sketch for the purposes of hoodwinking her.), but she was always aware of where Adrien was, waiting for him to inadvertently give her a view of the edge of his pinky.

Luckily for her, he gave her just that view when she took the drawing back from Marinette, thanking her, and waved goodbye to the group. Adrien was standing slightly off to the side, so when he raised his hand, Alix had a perfect view of the side of his hand. _Freaking called it. Adrien never got close enough to get it on him, and it’s in the same place as it is on Marinette. They’re soulmates. And since I have confirmation already that Marinette’s soulmate is Chat Noir…_

_I caught you, buster. Theory one, confirmed. That leaves theory three. Is Marinette interested in Chat?_

_How much that really matters is up for debate, I think, since she’s very much interested in Adrien, and he’s very much interested in her. Hmm, I wonder if my plans are really the best course of action now. I best go back to my notes._

The four walked away, and Nathanaël walked up behind her. “Are you satisfied?”

“Oh, very.”

He sighed. “You’re up to something.”

“Of course I am.”

_I need to have a chat with Adrien. I should figure out why he hasn’t told her who he is yet before trying to pull anything. If he legitimately wants her to fall for Chat, not counting her crush on Adrien, then whether she’s interested in Chat or not is very relevant, and that’s where I should put my focus. If he’s just nervous then I should focus instead on getting that reveal to be a thing._

_Or maybe I should talk to Alya. She knows, no doubt. Being so close to Mari, she gets access to the conversations, and if it was that obvious to me, there’s no way she’d miss it. I can always dig for hints that she knows just in case, anyway. But if getting Mari with Chat or Adrien is the same thing, then we’re on the same side, so it only makes sense that we’d team up._

_Speaking of, I haven’t noticed Alya being very pushy. No more than normal at least. Is she planning something, or is she legitimately backing off? Maybe she has a reason. Hmm…_

Alix had lunch with Nathanaël, but she thought about her next course of action the entire time. Nathanaël was, obviously, bemused, and ate quietly while Alix alternated between scribbling in her notebook and taking bites of her food.

_Okay, so here’s an option. Marinette acts very different around Adrien and Chat Noir. Because of her crush, obviously, but perhaps that’s inciting some trepidation in them, them being Alya and Adrien, since they don’t know what introducing Adrien as Chat will do to his relationship with Mari. It’s a fair concern; we don’t know the extent to Marinette’s relationship with Chat. If that’s the problem, then I’ll have to defer to Alya there since she knows Mari better than I do._

_That means… I’ll have to think about theory four. Hmm. If theory four is true, then I’m confident that it would turn out well._

_Theory four: Marinette is Ladybug._

_Evidence: Marinette has repeatedly and consistently shown inclinations towards leadership and bravery, especially in instances of akuma attacks. She always takes control and when she doesn’t it’s when she vanishes mysteriously, often at the same time or immediately following or preceding Adrien’s mysterious disappearance. Dark hair in pigtails, blue eyes. Similar build._

_If she’s Ladybug, then her comfort with her partner, Chat, would certainly overpower any awkwardness about Adrien. I might have to meddle a little, but they’d work through it both because they’re very used to each other and also because the city kind of rides on it. They’re nothing if not duty driven. Thus, the reveal should be encouraged, at least on Adrien’s side, to facilitate their relationship._

_If she isn’t Ladybug, then there’s no telling what kind of awkward relationship she has with Chat. The reveal could double her inability to perform even basic motor functions, and ruin any chances for a speedy relationship. Thus, the reveal should be discouraged and prevented at all costs until she gets over herself._

_Okay, I’ve convinced myself. Checking her relationship with Chat is still a good idea. I can do that through him though. He’s easier to deal with. Less shenanigans. Since he’s Adrien, whether she’s interested isn’t quite so relevant anymore as what her current relationship with Chat is._

Alix took out her phone, sending Chat a message.

A – So tell me how it’s going with your soulmate. I hope it’s not as painful now. I’m not there to make you talk, after all.

_Then again, this is the guy who thought she hated him because she was blushing and stuttering._

CN – my princess and I get along just swimmingly, thank you very much.  
A – I’m being serious here, how do you stand? It’ll help me figure out how to approach her to get her to fall for you.  
CN – here’s an idea: DON’T.  
A – If you don’t tell me I’ll assume you two are right on the cusp of making out on her balcony every night, and I’ll just straight up tell her you want to get “friskies”  
CN – goddamn it Alix why do you do this  
CN – IS THAT A FREAKING CAT FOOD PUN  
A – It’s for your own good <3  
CN – no, you cannot “<3” me. you lost all “<3” privileges.  
A – You can’t take away my “<3” privileges.  
CN – I can and I did. I was going to give them to you after last night but you just got them revoked again.  
A – What a shame. Tell me about Mari.  
CN – can’t this wait???  
A – No. I need to adjust all my plans for this. That takes time.  
CN – but Alixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
A – I can text Mari right now, you know.  
CN – </3 :c  
CN – I think she’s still getting used to me. if we’re talking then it goes pretty well but we still have a bunch of awkward pauses and I’m never really sure when it’s okay to bring up a new subject and stuff. or what subjects are cool to talk about. I’m still figuring it out. so is she, I think.

_I see. Then whether I push the reveal or not is determined by whether Marinette is Ladybug. If they’re just new with each other, like Chat’s saying, then knowing that the other one is their partner, or at least Mari knowing, would resolve that issue. They’d know how to act around the other. And I already hypothesized that the stuttering around Adrien would be quelled from that as well. If she’s not Ladybug, then they really need to be comfortable before she finds out he’s Chat._

CN – hang on, why are you trying to get us together anyway?  
A – Because you’re my friend, obviously <3  
CN – I told you, no hearts.  
CN – and yet you keep using them anyway.  
CN – and you call yourself my friend.  
A – <333333333  
CN – seriously though you stole my number for this purpose obviously you had this in mind before we even started talking.  
A – I’m helping because I’m bored and also because I was already dragged into this train wreck so I may as well try to save what few survivors remain.  
A – Satisfied?  
CN – no.  
A – Well that’s your answer, so too bad.  
CN – it’s not a train wreck! it’s a perfectly okay situation.  
A – Says the guy hopelessly in love with the girl who told him she wanted to be just friends :P  
CN – wow, rude. and who said hopelessly in love I did not say that.  
A – I figured it out.  
CN – great well have fun with that, I’m just going to sit here and pretend you aren’t plotting my demise byeeeeeeeee.  
A – Bye-bye, Friskies <3  
CN – WHY.

Alix smirked and put her phone away, finishing her lunch. _All we know for sure about Ladybug’s identity is that she’s in my grade, and goes to my school. At least, according to Alya on the day Jalil got akumatized. The textbook she had is pretty solid evidence, so I’ll accept that, though technically speaking it wasn’t necessarily Ladybug’s book just because she dropped it. It did vanish mysteriously though, after Marinette took Alya to the museum. Well, after Pharaoh, so Ladybug could have gotten a hold of it. Or Marinette. Or they’re the same person so both. Either way, Marinette is definitely included in the sample of girls who could possibly be Ladybug._

_Oh, and remember Horrificator? Adrien and Marinette were the only ones who went missing without goo nearby, and were the only ones supposedly kept in such out of the way places that we didn’t see them right away. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t care, but that was pretty obvious._

_Oh my god, thinking back with the idea of her being Ladybug, I’m like ninety percent sure. She’s not clever. The question is whether to confront her or not. Even if I wanted to it might be a little difficult getting her alone. Alya clearly doesn’t know this already, and I doubt anyone else does._

_But honestly, I kind of want to, if for no other reason than just to see her face._

_Besides, can I really con her into confirming her identity for me? It’s not like I have easy access to anything definite with Ladybug. I could get Chat because I knew for a fact that he’s Marinette’s soulmate. I don’t have anything like that that I can exploit for Ladybug. So the only way to actually confirm it one hundred percent is to bother her until she snaps._

_Is ninety percent certainty enough for action? I suppose if things went wrong I could help smooth things over. It’s be one heck of a mess though. Still, pretty good odds, I think._

_So am I confronting Marinette or convincing Adrien to reveal himself? Tough question. I suppose confronting Mari would be the safest option. It might be a little fun, too, but then, I’ve always liked a gamble._

_No, I shouldn’t gamble on my friend’s love lives. Okay, we’re talking to Marinette after school._

Alix considered her options, and sent Marinette a quick text.

A – Hey, are you busy after school?  
M – Nope, why?  
A – I have some questions. Can we talk alone then?  
M – Sure. Did you want to come over? No one will bother us at home.  
A – Yeah that’s probably best. See you then.

 

* * *

 

 

For the first time in anything pertaining to Marinette, Alix was nervous. _There are so many ways this could go wrong. Still a safer gamble than getting Chat to tell her who he is, though, so this is the route we’re taking._ Alix looked around curiously as she entered the Realm of Pink. _Ugh, seriously with the color scheme though? I literally have pink hair and even I think this is way too excessive._

“You had something you wanted to ask?” Marinette asked politely, looking at Alix with wide eyes.

“Uh, yeah. Well, sort of. Something I wanted to tell you, really.”

“Oh?”

“Yep.” Alix shifted her weight back and forth, examining Marinette closer and only becoming more certain that she matched Ladybug’s description perfectly. “I know you’re Ladybug.”

Marinette’s expression immediately shifted to pure shock. Her jaw dropped, most muscles on her face totally slackened. And then her eyes went wide, and she vehemently shook her head. “What? M-me, Ladybug? Pfft, you’re got to be joking.”

Alix, holding back a snicker, just kept her expression neutral. “Nope.”

Marinette furrowed her brow and pressed her lips into a thin line. “You’re serious… come on, of course I’m not Ladybug! How could I, even?”

Alix sighed. _Yeah, that was pretty funny. Unfortunately, this is kind of a serious deal._ “Girl, don’t think I don’t notice you sneaking off at every sign of an akuma attack. No one manages to get lost quite as quickly as you.” _And Adrien._ “And let’s be real, you’re not exactly a whole different person. You act a little different, sure, but you’re so Ladybug it hurts sometimes.”

“Alix, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t, that’s why Ladybug managed to get into the school during the Horrificator incident despite it being blocked and our class having stayed after school.”

“I’m sure Ladybug just-”

“And pretending to be taken? That was clever except there wasn’t any goo around where you were supposedly snatched from, and you only showed up again a few minutes _after_ everyone else did when Ladybug saved the say.”

“Alix, I am not Ladybug.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell anyone, I just thought you should know that I figured it out. Also I wanted to ask what your deal with Chat is. Why are you so awkward with him? He’s your partner. I mean, he doesn’t know that, but you do.”

“Because I’m not Ladybug, Alix! Chat is just a friend and that was like the third time I’ve ever even talked to him.”

Alix rolled her eyes. _What’s the point of big guns if you don’t use them? This is horribly manipulative but I never pretended to be a good person._ “Come on, girl. You brought me with you last Friday assuming I’d figure out who Chat is. You trust me with his identity but not yours? That seems kind of terrible of you.”

Marinette just stared at her. Alix wasn’t quite sure if her expression was shocked or offended or both, but after a few more moments, Marinette sighed. She fiddled with one of her earrings nervously. “Okay,” she said. “Okay, fine, you’re right. You can’t tell anyone!”

“If you thought I was going to tell anyone; you wouldn’t have brought me last Friday.” Alix grinned at her. “I’m obviously not going to spill.” _Theory four, confirmed. Huh, I didn’t think theory three would be the irrelevant one. Speaking of, though…_ “So tell me what’s up with you and Chat.”

Marinette threw her hands in the air, groaning. “Ugh, I just… I can’t believe _he’s_ my soulmate!”

“Alya called it like the moment you two met.”

“Yes, but I never thought she’d be right!”

Alix tilted her head a little. “So you’re being weird because he’s your soulmate? Why does that matter?”

“Because, have you _met_ Chat? If he catches wind that I’m Ladybug, he will be _insufferable_. Plus, he’s… actually being really nice?”

Alix snickered. “So you like him.”

“I do not!”

“He’s wooing you.”

“He’s _trying_.”

“He’s succeeding. Oh man, this is great.” _That makes my job so much easier. I basically just have to tell Chat, “hey Friskies, why don’t you go over and reveal yourself?” He’ll have some dumb excuse, definitely, but I can argue that cat into the dirt._ “Girl you know he’s interested, just date him!”

“I can’t date a superhero!”

“Then ask him who he is. It’s not that complicated.”

“No, I’m not going to pressure him into revealing himself.”

Alix rolled her eyes. _As I thought, it’s going to have to be Chat. Alright then. Well, this is a quick fix._ She let the topic drop, and just hung out with Marinette for a while before leaving for her own house. On the way, she texted Chat Noir.

A – Friskies, I’m moving this performance into the final act. This is final phase operation shit.  
A – Do exactly as I say and you’ll be dating Marinette within the week.

_And you’ll have a nice surprise too, when she tells you she’s Ladybug. Whether she does that when you reveal yourself or not isn’t really important, luckily._

CN – Alix no, this sounds like a terrible idea.  
A – Just shut up and do what I say.  
A – It’s quite simple really.  
A – You need to tell Marinette that you’re Adrien.

Chat Noir took a long time to respond. _Haha, oh yeah, I never told him that I figured it out. Oops._

CN – why would I do that?  
A – Because you are. Dude I saw you and Mari with your soulmate marks, this isn’t a discussion.  
CN – ok but  
CN – assuming I am this Adrien you speak of  
CN – which I’m not saying I am  
CN – why would I want to tell Mari?  
A – Because she likes you, numbnuts.  
CN – I mean yes.  
CN – I know that now.  
CN – but she’s still super awkward with me.  
CN – both mes really but in like different ways?  
A – That won’t be a problem after you tell her who you are.  
CN – you’re very confident about that.  
A – Yes.  
CN – how confident are we talking about here?  
A – Like as confident as Bourgeois is on an average day.  
CN – that’s pretty confident.  
A – Great, I’m glad we could go through that entire exchange again.  
A – Basically, Chat, how much do you trust me?  
CN – like as much as I trust Bourgeois to do literally anything out of the kindness of her heart.  
A – Ha ha :P  
CN – <3  
CN – seriously though, why?  
A – Because I need you to just trust me on this. Telling Mari who you are is basically a one-way ticket to getting “Friskies”  
CN – NO, ALIX, NO  
A – Sorry, couldn’t resist.  
A – But it’s seriously nigh guaranteed to get you together.  
A – Maybe not like, right away, but trust me this is the first major step from here.  
A – I have everything planned.  
CN – you and your plans.  
A – Have I failed yet?  
CN – well considering you’ve somehow gotten Mari’s crush out in the open and figured out my identity from  
CN – I don’t think I even want to know what from  
CN – I’d say probably no.  
A – I tricked Mari into getting charcoal on her and then looked for it on you, nbd.  
CN – what? that’s what that was for?  
A – Not important. Are you going to tell her?  
CN – idk still seems like a terrible idea to me.  
A – You’ve got to trust your wingwoman, mate. If we don’t have trust, then what kind of wingwoman am I?  
CN – maybe one that decided to be the wingwoman despite my protests?  
A – Lol, fair enough.  
A – Still.  
CN – alright fine.  
CN – only because your plans are always really complicated and I know you wouldn’t intentionally screw me over.  
CN – you wouldn’t intentionally screw me over, would you?  
A – Not in matters of soulmate shenanigans.  
A – My plans aren’t even that complicated. My reasoning can be sometimes, but not my plans.  
CN – yeah sure. I’m so glad that’s cleared up.  
A – You won’t regret it. <3  
CN – I better not :3 <333333333


	6. Achilles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giggling so hard right now tbh. Next chapter is the last one, by the way.

“Alright, Operation: Iliad is a go.”

“Alya,” Adrien whined, “I still think that’s a terrible name.”

“I still think I’m never letting you forget that you described yourself as Marinette’s gay lover.”

Adrien hung his head and sighed. “That’s fair. So remind me again what exactly Operation: Iliad is.”

“It’s our plan to get you with Marinette!”

“I mean, yeah, I know that. I mean what’s the actual plan?”

Alya grinned and clapped him on the back. “That’s what we’re here for! The operation is beginning, and it’s time to brainstorm.”

Sighing loudly, Adrien leaned back in his seat on the bench. “Well, I guess this is as good of a time as any. You should probably know that Alix already has a plan.” _And we’re starting final jeopardy in three, two, one…_

Alya narrowed her eyes. “Does she?”

 _Category… classmates, for one hundred. What is…_ “Yeah, I kind of agreed to it but I’m still not a hundred percent. She’s confident though.”

“And how much does Alix know?”

 _Two hundred._ “Despite the fact that I haven’t told her anything? She knows everything.”

Alya rolled her eyes. “What’s her plan?”

“She told me that if I tell Marinette who I am, then I’ll, and I quote, ‘be dating Marinette within the week’.”

“What?!” Alya exclaimed. “No, no, no, why would she think telling Mari now would be a good idea?!”

Adrien just shrugged. _Wait, Jeopardy has that asinine backwards thing where the questions are statements, that’s right. So like, if our conversation was backwards then that would have worked. Sort of. Oh never mind. I have no idea how Jeopardy works. That was dumb anyway._

Alya took out her phone and scrolled fervently, frowning intently at the device. She tapped it and held it to her ear. “Alix, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Alya put the phone on speaker and held it between them so Adrien could hear.

“Dismantling the patriarchy,” she chuckled. “Brick by brick.”

Alya groaned. “While that is an admirable goal, I’m talking about Chat Noir.”

“Oh, yeah I’m getting him together with Mari.”

“And who said you have the right to do that?” _Oh dear, Alya, you don’t have to get so aggressive about it._

“I did. They’re my friends too. If you can meddle, so can I.”

Adrien leaned closer and talked a little louder to make sure Alix could hear him (Still being careful, though, to refrain from being too loud. School courtyards were not the best place to scream about your identity.). “Alya knows I’m Chat, by the way. For wherever that conversation is going.”

The voice in the phone paused for a moment. “You’re talking to Friskies?”

Alya sputtered. “Friskies?!” She directed her gaze at Adrien, who turned red and looked away, pretending to busy himself with his phone. _Why did you have to keep using that, oh my god, now Alya’s going to want all the details._

“Long story. You’re talking to Adrien?”

“Yeah. There’s no way you’re not telling me that story.” She stared at Adrien, making it clear to him that she was not letting him off the hook for that, even when Alix did tell her.

“Anyway,” Alix said, “I assume you’re calling because of my plan.”

“Yes, actually. Marinette is awkward enough around both of them, if he tells her who he is then she’ll just get even worse! At least he can talk to her as Chat Noir. If that plan goes bad, then you just take away any opportunities for Patroclus to talk to Achilles.”

“Okay, those nicknames sound like a story I’m going to want to hear. We’ll exchange later.” Adrien thought he heard some papers rustling on the other side of the call. “Look, Detective. Normally, you’d be right. This plan is way too risky. But the fact of the matter is that you don’t have all the information.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Just saying. Marinette will handle it. There’s a variable you haven’t noticed yet, and it makes a world of difference, girl. I don’t blame you for not seeing it, of course. If Mari was my best friend I’d probably miss it too.”

Alya looked like she felt personally offended at Alix’s suggestion. “Are you saying that you know something about my best friend that I don’t?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“Oh we are _so_ doing this.”

“You can’t hurt me over the phone, Alya. And I can take you, anyway. Here’s how it is. I can personally guarantee that if your Patroclus tells Marinette who he is, they will be significantly closer to dating. I’ll help nudge them together if needed after that as well.”

Alya paused for a moment, stoking her chin. Adrien swallowed the lump in his throat. _Either way, that’s between the girls. I’m just going to stay out of it and do what they tell me. Seems to be working so far._

“Literally the worst case scenario is that she ends up in a weird state of half awkwardness with Adrien, and the occasional hopeless stutter. Which, quite frankly, is still an improvement.”

 _True. I still think the worst case scenario is unbridled rage, though._ “If things go wrong,” Alya said, “do you have a backup plan? One to fix things?”

“Who do you think I am? Of course I do.”

“Fine. Then I’ll let you get away with this. Only because I don’t have an alternative yet.”

“Sweet, tell Friskies to get his fine butt ready. I’ll trust you to figure out the details. Location, method, that kind of thing. After all, you know Mari better than I do.”

Whether Alix intended it or not, Adrien felt like Alix said her last sentence just a little too teasingly. _Alya’s going to be so pissed. Maybe I should like, hold her up so we only get to class just before the bell rings so she can’t murder her. I do wonder what Alix found that’s making her so confident, though. Of course, I also know that there’s literally zero chance of ever finding out anytime in the predictable future. It’s probably not relevant to anything, anyway, excepting of course the way Alix just said it was relevant._

_Yes, that was definitely a coherent thought that I just had._

“So…” Adrien said when Alya tapped the button to end the call. “I’m telling her, then?”

“Yes. Yes you are.”

 _Wonderful._ “Right. So how should I do that, exactly? Like, maybe when we’re alone, on her balcony?”

“No, no, no.” Alya quickly shook her head. “Dude, no. You know Marinette. She’s going to make a scene. If you tell her on her balcony, you’ll get noticed by her parents if no one else and I don’t think you want to have that conversation.”

 _Good point. If she gets loud at all and people look then they’ll see Chat Noir with some random girl in the night. I have enough experience with media to know that there’s no way that ends well for either of us._ “Then what do I do?”

Alya frowned for a moment, and then her lips curled upwards into a grin. “You’ll tell her here, at school.”

“What?” He exclaimed, eyes wide and nervously glancing around. “I can’t transform here!”

“That’s why you’re not transforming.” Alya grinned as her plan began to take shape in her head. “Yeah. You don’t need to. All you have to do is prove to her that you’re her soulmate. No transformation required!”

Adrien moved further down the bench a little, inching away from her. “And how do I do that?”

“Alright, listen here. This is officially phase one of Operation: Iliad.”

 

* * *

 

 

Adrien could tell that Nino knew something was up. He wasn’t sure how much his best friend knew, or if he knew exactly what Alya and he had planned, but Nino definitely knew something.

And Nino definitely didn’t want to be there.

 _Sorry buddy,_ Adrien thought, _this is Alya’s show now._ He looked over to Alya, who was talking excitedly with Marinette just a small distance away.

He checked the time on his phone. _Two minutes. Seriously, why do you have to plan everything down to the exact minute? At least she didn’t give me a script._

Adrien sighed heavily, tucking his hands in his pockets and leaning on the wall. He thought for a moment about what could potentially happen. _Wait. Shit. She didn’t give me a script. Oh my god, what am I going to say? I’m going to make a complete fool of myself, oh man. Too late now though. I can’t exactly walk up and be all like “Hey Alya could you please facilitate this entire exchange? Yes, this is my relationship on the line here but you see, I am a socially inept idiot who can’t figure out how to talk to his soulmate. Also this is basically your pet project so you may as well, let’s be real.”_

 _Oh golly, what am I supposed to say?_ Nervously, Adrien looked at his phone again. _Great. Time to put Operation: Never Let Adrien Forget His Embarrassing Metaphor Ever into motion._

He took a deep breath and, with a glance shared between him and Nino, walked forward to where Marinette and Alya were talking, in a small corner of the courtyard. “Uh, h-hi, Marinette!” _I’m stuttering now, oh my_ god _, I’m going to make a fool of myself._ “Can I borrow you for a second?”

He brought his eyebrows together and up, pushing out his lip slightly by habit to give her his best pleading expression. Of course, he also knew that his face was burning, and that Nino was looking between him, Marinette, and Alya with the most unimpressed expression Adrien had ever seen on his best friend.

“O-of course!” Marinette responded after Alya nudged her with an elbow. “Anything you want.” Her eyes went wide. “I mean, anything did- you want- uh… did you want anything?”

Adrien had to chuckle a little. _Knowing that she actually likes me makes this so much cuter. Well, it was kind of cute before, but I was also terrified of her, so now that that’s gone it’s just all the cute._ “Yes! Actually, I did want something.” He paused, trying to figure out how he was going to do what Alya told him to do. _Where could I even draw on myself that she’ll notice right away? And what if she doesn’t notice? What if it gets washed off before she does? I guess Alya would point it out but…_ “This might sound kind of weird, but, uh…” He swallowed the lump in his throat and talked through the small amount of air he felt he could get. Plastering a forced smile onto his face, he held a hand out to her, tucking his other hand behind him, grabbing and uncapping the pen in his back pocket. “May I have your hand?”

_Wait. Wait, no, no, no, no, no that was bad. That was just about the actual worst way to ask to draw on her oh my freaking god I am dead. I have died and gone to Hades and I’m in the fields of punishment doomed to eternally relive this single moment of my life. It’s just a scratched record skipping back but it’s a record of all of my embarrassment and shame coalescing into one dumb reference to Marinette being the princess that she doesn’t even freaking know I call her, I am so, so dead and Alya will never let me forget this either, oh my god._

Adrien was only shocked out of his internal monologue when he felt someone else’s hand in his. It took him another second to realize that it was Marinette’s.

It took him another second to realize that he wasn’t doing anything and was just holding her hand. _I’m holding her hand, oh_ god _._

Grinning through his panic (If there was one thing that being a model taught him, it’s how to smile when he really just wanted to crawl under his bed and hide for the next eternity.), he stepped closer to her so as to refrain from pulling on her, and raised their joined hands to meet his lips as he ducked his head. He kissed her knuckles, like Chat Noir might do to Ladybug, and, before she could react, flipped her hand over, exposing her palm. He drew his other hand out from behind him and hastily wrote down two words before letting her go.

Pen still between his fingers, he raised that hand, palm towards her. “Thanks,” he said. “See you later then, Marinette.”

He held his pose just a moment longer than would be natural, but once he saw Marinette’s eyes shift to his palm, and then down to her own, he quickly dropped it, turning to Nino. “Well, we should get to class, don’t you think, bro?”

Nino just gave him a flat look and said nothing, only allowing himself to be turned around by Adrien’s hand on his shoulder and guided away. As he turned, Adrien saw Alya give him a thumbs-up, although she was obviously holding back laughter, with her other hand covering her mouth. _I will never hear the end of this._

 _Oh god I kissed her hand. That was_ not _in the plan! What was I thinking? Good god, she’s going to flip. She’s going to kill me. I have unleashed the rage of Achilles and it’s all directed straight at me and concentrated through glass and now it’s so powerful I only need to show my face anywhere in public ever again and I’ll just straight up drop dead._

_You know what? I’m just going to blame Alix and Alya for this whole thing. Everything is their fault. This was not my idea in the first place. That’s right. That is simply the way it is._

_Oh god, I’m so dead._

That was when he heard the screaming.

It was only Marinette’s voice, so he knew there wasn’t an akuma. It still took all his self-control not to look back. He still, barely, had the capacity to realize that if he did make a show about looking back at her while she was screaming, he’d only make it worse. _Just pretend to not notice._

 _While you’re at it, pretend that entire conversation took place in the idyllic realm you enter when you plan out these things in your head before-hand. Everything is perfect. I didn’t make a fool of myself; Marinette isn’t actually the personification of rage. I told her and she just sighed with that dumb, cliché, dreamy smile that girls in movies have, that Alya told me I have, and she told me she’s so happy that I’m Chat because she’s liked the both of us for so long and oh by golly you have no idea what a relief it is to hear that the two people I love are the same. By the way, I’m Ladybug. “Oh gosh, Ladybug?! The two people_ I _love are the same too? This is literally perfect and nothing could be wrong in this scenario ever!”_

_And then we kiss and date and live happily ever after like in a fairy tale and definitely not like any of my Greek slash Shakespearean tragedies._

_Maybe a comedy. I’ll take Much Ado About Nothing any day, to be honest. At least we’re married and alive at the end of it._

Adrien glanced over at Nino as they entered the classroom and took their seats. _Note to self, never let it slip that one of my reasons for even jokingly wanting my relationship to be like an actual comedy was because the characters get married. Even Nino wouldn’t let me forget that one._ He leaned on his desk, resting his head on his palm. _Why am I so hopeless?_

He felt Nino wordlessly poke at his hand, and so, without looking, he opened it to display the message on his palm. The soft groan from his best friend told him that it was exactly as stupid as he thought it was. _“Hi, Purr-incess.” Of course I had to go with the cat pun, just to shove it in her face like “I am Chat Noir! Pay attention to me!”. Golly, now it seems desperate._ He shook his head slowly. _Whatever. she’ll calm down and I’ll just have to deal with the aftermath._

_Either that or she will continue to be a vessel of the rage. One or the other. And okay, so maybe she was never really angry at me, but still. She’s scary. When she blows up at Chloé? Good god, I do not want to be on the receiving end of that again._

The bell rang, signaling the start of class, and Marinette and Alya both had yet to show up. _I shouldn’t be surprised if they skip today. Maybe I should take notes for them? It’s kind of my fault, after all._ He glanced over to Alix, who just spun her pen in her hand with a smug smile and no more than a casual glance in his direction. _You’re responsible for this,_ he thought, _if Marinette hates me now it’s up to you to fix everything._

Sighing once again, Adrien turned his attention to the teacher. He decided that at the very least he would make sure Marinette and Alya didn’t fall behind in class because of him. That resolve was the only thing keeping him focused on the lecture.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, Friskies, how’d it go?” Alix wrapped her arm around his shoulders, appearing at his side suddenly like Chloé did sometimes. “The dynamic duo didn’t show up for class so I’m assuming you told her.”

Nino rubbed his face in his hands, muttering. _Shoot, does Nino even know that I’m Chat Noir? He must, he was with Mari when she met me that Friday and then he saw me write on her. I didn’t even think about it. How nice of him not to make a deal out of it. It’s good to know that not everything has to be a federal freaking issue all the time._ “Yeah,” Adrien said, “I told her.”

“In the most asinine, backwards way possible,” Nino said.

“It wasn’t- okay, fair point.” Adrien just shrugged. “I was put on the spot. I’m not good under pressure.”

Nino and Alix both just gave him a flat look. “Dude,” Nino said.

“Okay, but not in things like _this_!”

Alix rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m going to dig up the details from Alya, and we’ll figure out the next phase of the operation, capiche? Don’t worry your pretty face on it. I’ve got everything figured out.” She flashed Nino a grin. “D.J., did you hear her scream?”

“Did anyone not?”

“That was _gold_. It turned out even better than I hoped.”

Adrien crossed his arms, turning to face her slightly. “Did you make me do that just to watch Marinette’s reaction?”

“Of course not.” Alix waved him off casually. “I did an entire other thing just to watch her reaction. That was already entertainment enough. This was for you, man! From nowhere but the bottomless wellspring of kindness that is my heart.”

Nino snorted with laughter.

“Oh, you laugh now, D.J. I’m the one making sure _your_ best bro gets a date, though, so I wouldn’t talk if I were you.”

“One,” Nino said, “I’m not messing with those shenanigans, ever. Mystical soulmate stuff is only stressful and confusing.”

Alix laughed. “Says you. Do you even have a soulmate?”

“I do, actually. And I’d like to not talk about that!” Nino frowned. “What about you? You’re romantic or something? Is that why you’re so serious about helping Adrien?”

“If you must know, my soulmate is a very nice boy and we’re good friends.” Alix punched Nino’s arm. “And we only started talking because of mystical soulmate shenanigans. I agree that it’s freaky but it doesn’t even really matter anymore.” She let go of Adrien and spun to face him directly. “Speaking of which, if I’m going through all this trouble and I find out that the only reason you’re interested in Marinette is because she’s your soulmate I will personally beat you so bad that your father will have to sue me for ruining his model.”

Adrien resisted the urge to roll his eyes. _Yes, I’m a hopeless romantic, but it’s not as if Nino hasn’t had that conversation with me already. Besides, I’m not going to do anything only because of some writing. Maybe because of some writing and also the fact that she is adorable and sweet and perfect and man, when she gets serious about something she goes from this cute little cinnamon roll to terrifying badass and I am far too attracted to her for my own good._ “Of course I like her for more than just being my soulmate. I’m not _that_ bad.”

With a devious smirk, Alix glanced at Nino for just a fraction of a second before sidling up and leaning close to Adrien to whisper in his ear. “And what about Ladybug, huh?”

“Ladybug,” Adrien said, calmly, “doesn’t like me. It doesn’t matter.” He carefully stepped away from her. “And she’d want me to move on. I do like Marinette, that’s what matters.” Alix snickered, and looked over at Nino, quirking an eyebrow. She turned her gaze back to him, a question in her eyes. “He knows, Alix.”

“Some secret when everyone knows.”

“Not everyone knows! It’s just you, Alya, Nino, and Marinette, now.”

“Oh, so Alix does know,” Nino said. “Thought so.”

“Yep. Everyone knows, Nino.”

“There’s not that many people, okay?!”

“Oh?” Alix retorted. “How many people know Ladybug’s identity?”

Adrien crossed his arms, pouting. “None.”

Her grin only widened at that. _It’s like she thinks she has the answer to the freaking universe. Which would be impressive, since that isn’t even a question._ “Exactly. Now obviously we’re all extr-” Alix stopped talking when her phone’s ringing interrupted her. She glanced at it and swiftly accepted the call, holding the phone to her ear. “Detective! Talk to me.”

Adrien wanted to ask what was up, or at least if she could put it on speaker so he could talk to Alya too, but the moment he opened his mouth, Alix held a hand up to silence him. Only Alya knew, after all, what Marinette was doing at that moment. _And whether I even have a chance anymore._ Alix nodded slightly, keeping her expression stoic. “Yeah, I hear you… mhmm… I see… That’s interesting…” Adrien watched as Nino yawned exaggeratedly, rolling his eyes. “So, the verdict?” Another pause. “Ah… Yeah, I am… Alright, I’ll tell him. Thanks, detective.”

Adrien nearly grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her when she just looked over at him with a satisfied smirk and shrugged. “What happened?” He asked.

“Your Achilles is holed up in her tent. She’s just hiding in her room.”

“Oh.”

“Let her stew for a while. She’ll need time to process it. With luck, you can talk to her at school or at her balcony tomorrow. I’d recommend you leave her alone for tonight though.”

Adrien just sighed. _Well… I have patrol with Ladybug tonight anyway._

In the end, he couldn’t wait even that long. When he arrived in his room and flew through his homework, he was left with little to distract him from thoughts of Marinette except thoughts of his upcoming patrol. And quite frankly that paled in comparison with the situation he found himself in with his soulmate. So he couldn’t resist the urge to send her just a few text messages, spread out over the few hours he had to waste.

CN – sorry about running off, I was just a little scared about how you’d react.  
CN – but, uh, now you know! that I’m Adrien.  
CN – sorry I didn’t tell you right away too, I just really didn’t want to mess anything up and you weren’t very comfortable with me  
CN – either me, really.  
CN – I guess what I’m trying to say is I know you don’t want to rush into anything but I really do like you and I just want us to be able to stay friends?  
CN – patrol time. uh, in case I’m back late, I just wanted to wish you good night.  
CN  – <3

Adrien rubbed at his face and put his phone away, calling Plagg to transform. _I thought she’d at least be able to talk to me if she doesn’t have to look at me. That’s what I get for being optimistic, I guess._

When he arrived at the meeting point, Chat Noir had to look at the time on his baton. _Just a few minutes late. Ladybug might be held up._ He sat down roughly and let his legs hang over the edge of the building. _Speaking of, I guess Alix and Nino do have a point. I’ve liked Ladybug a while now, and this with Marinette is kind of new. But it isn’t just because of the soulmate thing. I know, because I didn’t like her right away after that. It was when we met on her balcony that night that did it. And it’s not like I haven’t pretty much given up with Ladybug. I still love her, of course, but honestly the thought that we could be something more at this point is a little strange. At least while we still haven’t gotten to the “actually knowing each other when we’re not saving the city” thing._

After a few more minutes deep in his thoughts, Chat Noir laid back, staring at the cloudy, darkening sky. _Hey look. It’s overcast. Mood weather._ He spent the next ten minutes or so tracing the silver linings of all the dark, ominous clouds with his eyes.

The familiar sound of Ladybug’s yo-yo catching on something nearby and retracting brought Chat’s attention away from the sky to his partner instead. When he caught sight of her face, he bolted upright and nearly leaped to his feet. She couldn’t meet his eyes, she held her arms across her chest, and she bit her lip, furrowing her brow all the while. When she started shifting her weight from foot to foot nervously, Chat Noir had to say something. “Are you alright, My Lady?”

She closed her eyes, clenched and unclenched her fists, and sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the building next to where he had been sitting. Hesitantly, he returned to his spot next to her. She brought one of her legs up rested her arm over her knee, and her chin on her arm. “Not really.”

“Is there any way I can help?” He scooted just a little bit closer to her, carefully gauging her reaction. When she didn’t do anything, he put a hand on her shoulder.

Ladybug laughed. “Yeah, actually.”

“What is it, My Lady?”

“You can listen.”

“Always, to anything you have to say.”

Ladybug shifted her position, throwing her leg back over the edge and leaning into him just a little. “So it turns out, my soulmate is a pretty interesting guy.”

Chat smiled. _How long has she known her soulmate? Has she not told him who she is?_ “Is he?”

“Yep. But I went through the dumbest, most roundabout way of figuring out who he is.”

He had to laugh at that. “Oh? Tell me the story.”

“So,” Ladybug began, a small smile on her lips, “tell me, Kitten, what do you think of your soulmate?” Chat just gave her an amused smile. “Tell me, and I’ll tell you.”

“Okay,” he said. “Then I’ll say that my soulmate is an amazing girl that I’m very lucky to be magically connected to. She’s a little headstrong sometimes, and she has this razor wit that makes every conversation with her even more interesting than it normally would be. And speaking of that, she’s just really interesting in the first place. She’s a fashion designer, you know. She won’t let me see her work, yet, but I think that’s really amazing. Plus, when she starts talking about fashion she starts talking kind of fast and she gets excited and starts gesticulating a lot and it’s just really, really cute.” Ladybug grinned at him, so he kept talking. “Oh, and when you get her mad I’m pretty sure she turns into the actual next incarnation of Achilles and it’s actually strangely attractive but I don’t know maybe that’s just me. I think she’s wonderful and every time I talk to her I learn something new, which is heaven for my kitty curiosity, you know.” He grinned when Ladybug laughed. “So what about you?”

“My soulmate is pun-loving trash who I wouldn’t want to shut up if I could.” _I like him already._ “He’s strong and brave and smart. He knows when it’s appropriate to be a goofball and when he needs to be quieter and tamer, and when he wants to he can be a perfect gentleman. Of course, sometimes he goofs off just to bother me. He’s witty and just really, really kind. One of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Actually, we knew each other before even figuring out we were soulmates.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I had the biggest, most embarrassing crush on him for a long time.”

“Hmm. You must have been ecstatic when you found out.”

Ladybug snickered. “Actually, I was terrified.”

“You, My Lady? No!”

She casually threw out her hand, palm up, in a sort of shrug. “Yes. I didn’t even say anything at first. I was just too shocked, and he was gone by the time I could form words.”

Ladybug stopped there, and didn’t seem life she was intent on saying much more. “Well what happened next? What did your lucky boy say when you talked to him next? Come on, you can’t just leave it there!”

Ladybug laughed again, pulling away from him to look him in the eyes. “Nothing happened next. I haven’t talked to him yet.”

“Oh, so this is a recent thing?”

“Very. He sent me a few texts, but I haven’t replied. I was kind of preparing myself for our next meeting.”

“I’m sure he’ll be very happy to see you again.”

Ladybug just chuckled. “It certainly seems that way.” Chat took a moment to blink slowly. _What does that mean?_ “You see, it took some preparation because…” Ladybug averted her gaze, staring at the spots on her legs rather than at him. “Because I needed to be ready to let him know that he’s _my_ soulmate. Because apparently our identity shenanigans just make everything way more complicated than it should have been.”

Chat Noir hesitated. “What?”

“I’m saying you’re him, Adrien.”

 _Oh god, oh man, red alert. She figured out who I am? Ho-_ Shit _did she just say I’m her soulmate?! That means… she knows I’m Adrien because…_ “Marinette?” His voice was weak, timid, when he asked.

Ladybug nodded, blushing slightly but smiling and not breaking eye contact. “Yep. I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Also known as ‘Princess’, ‘Beatrice’, apparently, and if I’m not mistaken, I have been referred to, once or twice, as ‘Achilles’.” She bit her lip, obviously nervous but still trying to hold back laugher. “Nice to meet you, Patroclus.”

 _Oh my_ god _, Alya told her._

 _Are we in that idyllic dreamscape again? I’m imagining this, right? No, if this was my imagination there’s no way anyone would ever have heard about that Iliad metaphor._ Adrien had no idea how to react. Honestly, only one thing came naturally, and it slipped out before he had the right state of mind to hold it back.

He screamed.


	7. Schrödinger

Ladybug had to admit that she didn’t quite expect the reaction she got. _Not that I can complain. I screamed too._ Keeping her head (she did have all day to think about it, after all, so she was… relatively accustomed to it), she just smiled and laughed as Chat Noir cut his own scream short.

Chat’s face turned red and he clapped a hand across his mouth, appearing absolutely mortified. _Hopefully mortified at his reaction and not me being Ladybug._ “Chat?” she asked gently when he went quiet. “Is this okay?”

“O-okay?!” Chat Noir bit his lip and looked away, fiddling with the zipper on one of his pockets. “I was going to ask the same thing…”

“Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Well… you don’t like Chat Noir. Not… you know, the same way you like Adrien.”

Marinette frowned. _He really thinks him being Chat ruins any chances he has with me?_ “Chat Noir, Kitten, hey.” She took his face in her hands, cupping it gently and smiling at him. “Want to know a secret?” Chat hesitantly nodded. “Adrien and Chat Noir, you’re not two separate people, you know. Tikki’s told me I’m Ladybug without the suit enough times that I think I can say I’ve learned that.”

“But I alwa-”

“Shh, remember what I said when you asked me to describe my soulmate?” Chat flushed even further, and nodded. “Does anything I said not apply to you on both sides of the superhero thing?”

“No?”

“Exactly. Don’t think for a second that it’s any different.”

They both sat in contemplative silence for a few moments. “So why do you need to ask if it’s okay?”

Ladybug laughed. “Because you screamed and freaked out! I mean, the screaming is one thing, but I had to make sure you were just paralyzed by embarrassment and not horrified that I’m Ladybug. Just to be safe.”

Chat Noir grinned and brought his face close to hers. “I could never be upset that my Princess is My Lady. This is probably one of the best things to ever happen!”

“The best?” Ladybug arched an eyebrow at him.

“Of course! It’s literally the best case scenario!” Chat smirked and winked. “It really makes the whole situation so much simpler.”

Ladybug scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means my attention is no longer divided, Princess.” Ladybug squirmed slightly. The nickname sounded awkward when used for the wrong persona. But then, she’d been collecting her fair share of nicknames, for some reason, so she just rolled with it. “And Nino and Alix can finally shut up about me just liking you because you’re my soulmate.”

Ladybug hummed. “Except you can’t tell them, so they can keep being suspicious.”

“Why, I’ll never know.”

“Because you’re shady, you dumb kitty.”

“I am not! I am perfectly proper. A total gentleman. You said it yourself!”

“Actually, I said _can_ be. Most of the time, you’re pun-loving trash.”

“ _Paw_ lease, I’m _always_ pun-loving trash. They’re not mutually exclusive.” Ladybug rolled her eyes, smiling. Chat Noir slowly let his grin fall. He touched her shoulder, furrowing his brow and staring intently into her eyes. “Seriously though, Ladybug, what…” He hesitated, breaking eye contact and averting his gaze to the city. “What does this mean for us? Are we going to be okay? Are we going to… do anything?”

Ladybug took a deep breath, turning her body to face him directly. “Chat, if you’re fishing for something, just ask. I think we’ve had enough shenanigans to stop beating around the questions we really want to ask.”

“Well…” He entwined his fingers and wrung them nervously. “I’m just not sure what we should do since… I mean, I like you, you like – Adrien, at least, but you said you didn’t want to rush into anything, and that’s totally f-fine! I mean, I…” Chat Noir hunched over a little, looking at anything but her. “I totally respect whatever you want to do, I’m just wondering if the shenanigans… changed anything?”

Ladybug had to take a moment to think about it. _Does this change anything? Obviously he doesn’t just like me because I’m his soulmate, that’s not really a worry anymore, but after all the crazy revelations we had… even if I want to, I think it’s probably smart to wait just a little bit. God, Alya is going to kill me._

_So I guess, in that sense, it doesn’t change anything. Right? Then of course, as I said, Adrien and Chat are the same person, really. Which is… strangely appropriate? It’s kind of embarrassing that I didn’t notice before, honestly. He was right, that night on my balcony. He’s the same person. Quieter, as Adrien, and with more “poise”, but still him._

_Or maybe I should be saying that the other way? He’s still Adrien when he’s Chat, just louder and more rambunctious. Which, when I think about it, isn’t that much of a difference._

“No,” Ladybug said, “nothing’s changed.” Chat swallowed and nodded, seeming crestfallen. Ladybug averted her own gaze, frowning. “I still have an embarrassing crush on you.” The flash of movement caught Ladybug’s eye long enough for her to see that Chat Noir had turned his head suddenly to stare at her in shock. “You’re still a dork,” she added, jokingly and in a vain attempt to preserve her dignity. _I can’t believe I told him I have a crush on him… I can’t believe I called him pun-loving trash to his face, oh my god._ “Alya and Alix both are still going to be throwing us together until we either date or tell them that we hate each other and would actually prefer death.”

Chat snorted. “Not that last one. Then we’d have a ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ moment on our hands, dear Beatrice.”

“True.” Ladybug inclined her head to acknowledge him. “Approaching them together and asking them to stop would probably do it.”

“Do you want them to stop?”

“I don’t really care, honestly. I don’t think they’re necessarily going to be very helpful anymore.” She bit her lip. “I still think it’s a good idea to wait a little.”

“To… wait?” Chat leaned back slightly, away from her, lifting an arm hesitantly over his chest.

“Before going into anything more,” she elaborated. “It’s the same deal as when we first met after finding out we were soulmates. I think we should sit back for a little, let things settle. I don’t want to rush into anything we aren’t ready for, is all.”

Chat Noir opened his mouth to speak, but bit back his words, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. “Okay,” he said. “You’re right. I guess it would be pretty dumb of us to jump into a relationship literally right after finding out our identities.”

“Exactly.”

“But, Ladybug, you know I do want that, right? I do want to… to date you.”

Ladybug felt her heart flutter a little at that. _It shouldn’t sound strange, I don’t think, but it does. And am I only happy because it’s Adrien saying that? Or because it’s Chat?_ Ladybug sighed, trying not to grimace. _Even for all my words, I still separate them. Heck, I still separate Marinette and Ladybug. All the more reason to wait, I guess. Until I can better reconcile Adrien and Chat Noir at least. Again, it makes a strange amount of sense, but in my mind they’re still separate people and that’s not fair to him. I shouldn’t have to remind myself that liking one of them means liking the other._

 _Though… how true is that?_ Ladybug looked at Chat Noir carefully, enjoying, for once, the way her heart sped up in her chest and the way she was so overcome with the desire to just be close to him. How happy it made her to be allowed to be his friend, and with the possibility of more right in reach.

She reached over and took his hand, peeling his own fingers apart and replacing one half of their knot with her own. He looked at her with bright eyes, cautious, anxious, but hopeful. “Chat Noir… I want to date you too.” She felt him move as he sat up straighter, but she moved her eyes to the cityscape instead. “I just really, really don’t want to mess this up.”

“But My Lady,” Chat purred, “you’re _literally_ my soulmate.” Ladybug rolled her eyes. Chat chuckled. “Okay, so maybe that’s not the best reason. But I’ll never stop liking you, Marinette. I won’t.”

Ladybug hummed. “I believe you. That doesn’t mean what we’re talking about doing isn’t dangerous. More than just our relationship is on the line if we can’t handle ourselves properly.”

“It won’t come to that. But if we needed to, we would. We wouldn’t let the city down because of our drama. Don’t you believe that too?”

“I’d like to.” She sighed, turning away and leaning backwards onto him again. She smiled when Chat adjusted to accommodate her, even bringing their joined hands above her head and around her, refusing to break contact. “I guess I do,” she amended. “It’s just… a risk that’s there.” Chat Noir silently brought his other arm around her. The way his arm paused on its way made Ladybug think he was nervous, so she didn’t say anything about it. When his arm settled around her waist, she just patted it gently with her free hand, and rested that hand atop his arm. “I suppose you’re right.” She tilted her head back, allowing it to rest on Chat’s shoulder. “We don’t need to rush anything anyway; we have plenty of time to talk though everything if we need to.”

Chat Noir rested his head on her shoulder, so their cheeks touched. “Of course. We can take it slow. What should we tell Alya and Alix, though?”

“If they weren’t both so scary good at sniffing out the truth, I’d recommend no less than twenty different scenarios that we use as stories so that it’s different every time they ask.”

Chat laughed. “That would be funny. Alas, they’d see through us in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah. Which is why the truth is the only real option.”

He nudged her playfully, sporting a small smirk. “The truth?”

“Well, mostly the truth.” She shrugged (gesturing with her hand rather than her shoulders, so as not to disturb Chat). “You told me who you were, and we talked tonight. Fudge it a little, maybe, and say you came over.”

“I was warned not to bother you tonight. I was actually going to go over tomorrow.”

“I asked you, then. Anyway, we talked, and we decided to take it slow.”

In her periphery, Ladybug didn’t notice how green his eyes were when he turned them to her face, twisting a little to do so more easily. “And what… exactly is our relationship right now?”

Ladybug thought for a moment, tapping his arm gently. “Imminently dating.”

Chat laughed. “Hey, I’ll take it.”

She laughed as well. “Or, if you want, when they ask you can just tell them this.” She lifted her free hand and tilted it back and forth in a “so-so” gesture and made a noncommittal groan.

“Oh, that would infuriate them.”

“Yeah, you’d have to worry about Alya being Achilles instead of me.”

She felt his body shaking, though he didn’t laugh out loud. After a moment, she felt him nuzzle into her neck gently. “She could never. You’re my Achilles.”

 _Oh my god, so that’s what he meant._ “So tell me, Tomcat, do you often compare me to ancient Greek heroes?”

He hummed in response. “I’m not going to lie, that one got away from me a little. It kind of turned into a thing before I could stop it. I can’t believe Alya told you, though. That’s so unfair.”

“If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t tell me that you meant yourself as Patroclus in a ‘Achilles’ gay lover’ kind of way. I thought you wanted to be Patroclus in a ‘calm Achilles down’ kind of way.” Ladybug turned her head to see his cheeks flush red.

“So why do you think I meant it that way now?”

“You just called me your Achilles.”

There was a beat of silence before his response. “Okay, yeah, that’s fair.” Ladybug laughed. “Anyway! I think that it’s a great idea. They’ve been having way too much fun with us, I think we deserve to have some fun in return.”

“Honestly, us not dating already is probably going to be irritating enough for them.”

“Haha, that’s true. Still, there’s nothing saying we can’t tease them a little.”

“If you want to tease them, send them a selfie of you and me together and refuse to elaborate.”

“Now, now, My Lady. I don’t want to be cruel.”

Ladybug chuckled. “Speaking of, do you think they’re texting us right now?”

“It’s likely.”

“How freaked are they that we aren’t answering.”

Chat shrugged. “Well they know I’m Chat, so they know I at least won’t respond. You though, Alya’s probably going nuts.”

“Should we tease them?”

“You’re so devious.”

She smirked. “Is that bad?”

“No it’s lovely. I love it.”

 _If we spin our story through text, we don’t have to put up with them seeing through us too. Plus, it’s fun. They’ve both been a pain, this is just comeuppance, honestly._ “Should we go get our phones?”

Chat hugged her tighter. “Mmm, I don’t want to move from right here.”

Ladybug laughed and pulled away from him, despite his whines and how cold her back suddenly felt when it wasn’t pressed against him. “Then we’ll race. First one back gets to open the conversation with the other’s respective meddler.”

The gleam in Chat’s eye was no doubt more to the challenge and to the idea of both of them racing back to each other than the prize itself. Still, he stood and shook a little. “Let’s do it.”

“Ready?” Ladybug asked.

“Go!” he exclaimed, shooting off. His cackling carried back to her in the wind as she protested his premature start.

It took no more than ten minutes for the round trip, and when Ladybug found their rooftop again, Chat Noir was just touching down, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. “You cheated,” she said, though she didn’t really mind.

“I went on ‘go’. There’s no cheating there.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes and sat down again, catching her breath from her frantic rush. Chat sat down next to her and held out his arms. “I don’t know, I’m not sure a cheater deserves hugs.”

Chat whined loudly until Ladybug shut him up by shifting towards him, reassuming their position before, where he sat behind her, arms around her. She held up her phone, unlocking it and opening to the conversation with Alya. “Well, a deal is a deal. Even if you cheat.”

He took the phone, holding it up in front of them, and switched to the camera. “Would you mind de-transforming, Princess?”

She raised her eyebrows. “I thought you said that was cruel.”

“I remembered that she made it her goal to never let me forget my Iliad metaphor.”

Ladybug had to laugh, and let the transformation go. Sitting in his arms as Marinette, she suddenly felt so much more fragile, so much more careful, but strangely, no less safe. “That’s as good of a reason as any.”

After Tikki had hidden in her purse (after a quick greeting and introduction to Chat), Marinette watched his Cheshire grin on the screen. “Smile, Achilles.”

She did.

Chat Noir swiftly changed back to the text conversation and sent Alya the picture. The response was near immediate.

A – GIRL  
A – U GO GIRL

As he started texting, Chat groaned and erased everything, retyping and grumbling. “You and your capitalization. Making me type properly.”

“Trust me, your allergy to proper capitalization is just as, if not more, painful to me.”

“Hey! It’s easier!”

“How you got your phone to autocorrect your ‘I’s but not the beginning of sentences is still a mystery to me.”

Chat chuckled. “Hey, Autocorrect is a fickle master. I don’t understand half of what it does.”

“Pfft, me neither.”

Chat looked back at the screen, debated for a moment, and erased what he typed, sending instead nothing just the smiling cat emoji.

A – I need the deets girl  
M – It was his idea.  
A – ofc it was what is ur status girl don’t leave me hanging

“Confused face picture?” Chat asked.

Marinette burst into giggles. “Confused face picture,” she agreed. Chat switched back to the camera and both of them made exaggerated confused face, throwing their hand in the frame in shrugging poses as well.

A – WHAT DOES THAT MEAN  
A – is operation iliad done or nah  
A – srsly girl wTF ANSWER  
A – where even r you?

Chat giggled. Marinette was tempted to tell him that the agreement was just starting the conversation, but she was laughing too, so she let him go on.

M – Well, after what happened at school I wanted to talk to him.  
M – So I invited him over.  
M – And now we’re on a rooftop. Seeing the sights.  
A – sights like his ass  
A – oh wait no bc ur IN FRONT OF HIM  
A – IN HIS ARMS I SWEAR IF I SEE YOU 2MORROW BEING LIKE  
A – KIND OF JUST SHRUGGING ALL IMPUDENT OR WHATEVER  
A – IM GONNA FLY OFF THE HANDLE

Chat Noir flushed scarlet and nearly dropped the phone. Luckily, Marinette was able to just take it from him. “What does she mean by that?!” he exclaimed.

“What do you think?” Marinette left him to stew on that while she typed her own response.

M – Nice going, you broke him.  
A – pls the boy knows he has a nice butt  
A – and in tight leather too like come on  
A – THATS NOT THE POINT THO

Chat let out a little groan and buried his head in Marinette’s shoulder. His arms around her stomach tightened, pulling her closer. His mouth was pressed against her so she felt when his lips pulled upward into a grin.

A – its a yes or no question  
A – r u dating  
A – Y/Y  
M – N  
A – WTF COME ON WHY NOT UR SO CLOSE  
M – Our relationship can be described like this.

She sent the picture of her and Chat shrugging again, laughing at the onslaught of texts from her best friend, most of them meaningless.

“It’s not even leather.” Chat mumbled when he came out from hiding.

“Do you want to tell her that?”

“I will.” He reached for the phone, and Marinette allowed him to take it.

M – He says it’s not leather.  
A – oh rly what is it then  
M – boyfriend material.

“Oh my god, Chat! No!” She swiped the phone from his hand, but the damage had been done and he was already cackling behind her.

A – excuse me  
A – did u just  
A – I am  
A – I am in shock  
A – Im not upset  
A – just disappointed  
A – jk that was obvs just chat good try patroclus

Chat snickered. “She didn’t notice when I was texting her at the beginning though.”

“That’s because you didn’t use terrible jokes. And typed with proper capitalization.”

“Oh my god! It’s just capitalization, sheesh! Let it go.”

“Never.” She took the phone back.

M – Alright, well you’ve officially been updated.  
A – HAVE I  
M – Yes. So I’m going to go.  
A – We are SO talking about this tomorrow.  
M – <3  
A – have fun with your furry bf <3

“I’m not furry.” Chat frowned, touching his own chest.

“She meant _a_ furry.”

“Oh.”

“Your turn,” Marinette said. “Time for Alix’s update.”

“I can’t wait. Here.” He brought his phone, already unlocked, and dangled it in front of her. “Your turn.”

Marinette grinned and took the phone. When she looked, though, there were already new texts from Alix.

A – I know you’re on patrol right now.  
A – Whenever you get these though, let me know how it went.  
A – Did dear Achilles call up dashing Patroclus?  
A – Come on you’re like Schrödinger’s cat right now. Dating, not dating, we just can’t know until an observation has been made.  
CN – fur your information, it went quite well.  
A – Seems to me it’s still usual patrol time for you. You sure it’s okay to be texting on the job?  
CN – actually, it’s her idea.  
CN – she told me who she is.

“Uh, Mar-”

“Alix already knows. She confronted me about it just a little while ago.”

“Oh.”

Marinette giggled. “I like that, though. You’re Schrödinger’s cat.”

“Well after all the dumb shenanigans we went through, I am pretty dead.”

A – See, didn’t I tell you that you wouldn’t regret it?  
A – Ye of little faith.  
A – So what’s the damage? You together now or what? Got to check if Alya’s little operation needs some more juice.

“Oh man, hang on.” Marinette quickly took out her own phone again and sent the “confused face” picture to Chat’s phone. Once it arrived, she saved it and sent it to Alix.

A – …  
A – Okay.  
A – Your faces say one thing, but your bodies say something else.  
A – Are you just putting the dating off because of post-reveal shock or something?

“What the heck?” Marinette pouted.

“She’s good,” Chat said. “This honestly doesn’t surprise me."

CN – Yes, we’re waiting until the shock wears off. Until then, we decided to just stay friends.  
A – Proper capitalization? Is this Marinette?

Marinette squeaked, looking back to see her mistake. “Oops.” Chat took the phone.

CN – of course not silly, why would princess have my phone?  
A – You just took the phone back, didn’t you?

“Is this girl actually psychic?” Marinette asked. “Every time, I swear. There’s no winning with her!”

CN – alya was more fun, you know.  
A – Oh, pfft, you bothered Alya with your dumb noncommittal bs?  
A – That’s honestly a great idea. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. She’s going to have driven herself insane by then.  
CN – :c  
A – <3  
CN – what did I say about the hearts?  
A – <33333333  
A – You’re welcome, by the way. It would have taken you guys forever if I hadn’t stepped in.  
CN – we could have handled it!  
A – Wow. That’s your best joke yet, Friskies.

Marinette and Chat Noir sat on the rooftop texting and talking until patrol time was over and they both needed to return to their homes. Despite the impending best friend that she knew was going to be at her on all sides the next day, Marinette felt great. She felt comfortable, light, happy. _Maybe that will work._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

As it happened, Alya gave up after three days and an actual explanation. Marinette had to take her into her room and calmly explain that since Adrien was Chat Noir, she didn’t want to let identity shenanigans mess with whatever feelings she may or may not have had and Alya gave her her blessing to take as long as she needed to figure out her feelings.

And Marinette took that time gratefully.

She knew it was driving Adrien crazy, but she also knew that he was going through a similar situation with her and Ladybug, and she trusted that he was using the time to carefully consider everything as well.

When Marinette came to her decision, over a week later while sitting in her room staring at some unfinished designs, everything came with little fanfare. “I like him,” she said quietly. Tikki looked at her curiously but said nothing. Marinette chuckled. “I like him.” She ran a hand through her bangs, pushing them up off her forehead.

“You like him,” Tikki repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Which him?”

“Just him. Whatever crazy human makes up both Adrien and Chat Noir.” She laughed. “I like him.”

“Then tell him.”

Marinette smiled, took a pen and drew. She knew that Adrien wasn’t busy that night, so there was no worry about his father being angry because of a photoshoot or anything, so she drew on her arm and hand.

First, a black cat chasing a ladybug. It was crouched low, ready to pounce on the little bug. Next, on the underside of her forearm, she drew a rose. As she was drawing, little hearts, in blue rather than the black she was using, appeared around the black cat. Marinette smiled.

When she moved on from the rose, a tall, thin vase started to appear around the rose’s stem.

Deciding to be a little silly, she drew, on the back of her hand, a large heart. She wrote at the top of it “MDC/LB” and quickly moved on to the back of her forearm, where she started some abstract doodles.

A quick look at the heart a few minutes later, and Marinette saw that the blue had filled in the rest of the heart. Bold and centered, was a plus sign and just under that, “AA/CN”. Filling in all the blank space was smaller hearts and little swirls.

Smiling, Marinette found some empty space and wrote one word. “Hey.”

“Hey,” his reply read.

“Will you go out with me?”

“I would be delighted, Princess.”

Marinette grinned from ear to ear and had to duck her head into her arms. _It’s so weird thinking that he likes me back. This is actually happening. I just asked him out. He just said yes. What is even going on?_

When she lifted her head, she also lifted her pen. “Are you ready? Do you want to try actually dating?”

“I’m ready. Nothing would make me happier.” Adrien punctuated the sentence with a little heart.

 _He is. We are. We’ll do it._ She took out her phone and texted him.

M – So when Alya and Alix ask…  
CN – they stopped asking.  
CN – also you could just text my main phone, you know. I’m not sure why I still even have this one out.  
M – What do we tell them?  
M – Or I guess what I’m asking is what do you want us to be able to tell them?

There was a moment of silence a bit longer than normal between his texts.

CN – I want to be able to tell them that you’re my girlfriend.  
CN – and that I’m your boyfriend.  
M – Lofty goals indeed.  
CN – :c  
M – But I think we can make that happen. Don’t you, Schrödinger? We should let them open the dang box already and see if you’re still breathing.  
CN – Absolutely <3  
CN – Does this mean I can finally say we’re dating?

Marinette laughed a little.

M – Yes. We can be dating, if that’s what you want.  
CN – it is all I have ever wanted.  
M – That’s not true. :P  
CN – may as well be. can I come over?  
M – If you want.  
CN – see you in ten minutes, max.

The knock on her balcony door not five minutes later didn’t surprise her. Being nearly pulled out of her room the moment she lifted the door and spun around in Chat Noir’s arms, while his loud, clear laughter rang through the neighborhood.

“Chat! Not so loud!” She hissed, looking around. The few people in the streets didn’t seem to notice them.

“Sorry,” he said, still smiling. He put her down gently. “Should we go inside, then?”

Marinette nodded and shooed him inside, following him down into her room. Standing in the middle of the floor, she looked at him, at how the corners of his eyes crinkled with his massive smile, and she felt her heartbeat begin to quicken. He let his transformation go, Plagg quickly zipping over to Tikki with little more than a passing hello to Marinette, and she grinned back at him.

Adrien just wrapped her in his arms again, picking her up so that she was on the tip of her toes, though not clearly on purpose like when they were outside. She hugged him back just as tightly until Adrien broke into laughter.

Marinette started chuckling along with him. “What?” she asked, trying to frown, but his laughter was infectious. “What?!”

“I’m just…” Adrien shook her back and forth gently, refusing to even slacken his grip around her. “I’m so happy.”

Marinette snickered. “I’m sure Alya and Alix will be, too.”

“I’ll bet.” Adrien giggled. “Should we let them in on this important development?”

“Oh, absolutely. And I have an idea of how.”

Adrien bit his lip, still smiling, and raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Give me your phone.”

He let go of her and complied, and Marinette quickly brought up the camera. She held it out, so that they were in the frame, and Adrien leaned closer to look at the screen as well. Marinette held the camera there and turned to face him. He was already so close; it wouldn’t take much for what she had planned. “Hey,” she breathed. “Can I kiss you?”

His eyes went wide, and his smile faltered to shock for only a fraction of a second before it returned full force. “I don’t know. Can you?”

“Really?”

“You _may_ any time, Miss Proper Grammar in Texts.”

She reached up, tangling her fingers in the soft hair on the back of his head and pulling him even closer so that their lips were just a hairs breadth apart. “Oh, shut up you stupid, stupid cat.”

She grinned, moving forward just that tiny, tiny distance, and kissed him.

Pressing the button on his phone was an afterthought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s 100 words shy of the 5k that is standard for this fic but I’m satisfied. I had fun with this, and I’m glad y’all seemed to like it a lot too. <3


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